Ordinary Miracles and the Crazy 9

Visa's in hand!

2012-01-26T11:51:00.000-08:00

Well what do we have here?

Liv you open it up so I can take your picture, ok?

Well that makes it official!

We can go now!

All we need is our TA!

There will be 4 of us going.
Papa and I are going of course! And this time we will also be taking Liv who is now 15 years old, (she also went with us to VietNam) and Patch who is 13 year old.

Oh yea, and one additional extra special person is going too meet us there! My knight in shining armor still after all these years.
I wonder how a handlebar mustache is going to go over in China?

Progress on WanWen's wishes

2012-01-25T12:32:00.000-08:00

My mom and dad came down to visit this weekend. Mostly so we could hash out some details of our China trip.

We went to our favorite "hot pot" restaurant (anyone in love with "hot pot" as much as me? Goodness that is yummy food!) and talked about the logistics of the care of our kiddos at home, flights, hotels, and what we hope to see and do while we are there. And most importantly how Mazie/WanWen and her transition is our first objective. Quite appropriate seeing how Chinese New Year is upon us. We did all this simultaneously while scarfing down an entire platter of baby bok chok, black pork, and dumplings. Did I mention how yummy hot pot is?

No, no TA yet. Still waiting. And the consensus is that it's going to be a long wait. {insert sigh of regret here} Over there on the little timeline chart, I'm sadly going to have to change "gotcha" back to March. The average time to TA 2-3 weeks, and we are currently on day#13 of our wait, but with Chinese New Year thrown in, it will surely will be longer than average. I'm trying hard not to think about it. We are hoping it will come mid February, but honestly that seems like forever away. My arms started to ache for her a few weeks ago, and the emptiness is starting to overwhelm me at times. In the mean time, I'm filling my freezer will lots of easy meals for our return, packing, and making a lovely assortment of hair bows and headbands for our girl. Gotta teach her the fundamentals of accessorizing early on! Important stuff, I know!

My mom and I had an opportunity to get out all the squishes for Mazie's 100 good wishes quilt and sort through them. Oh my! A wave of emotion came over me to see them all spread out like that. Each with such wonderful heartfelt wishes. Thank you to every single person that contributed! I actually still have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that not only were there enough people that cared about our little Mazie to make it to my goal of 100, but I even counted up over 120 wishes! 124 to be exact! Never did I actually think I'd be able to collect that many. I just assumed that I'd go to the fabric store in the end and pick out the majority of the fabrics myself and make up the wishes too, assigning them to people I knew. Nope, I didn't have to make up a single one. I am moved to tears of what y'all did, my family, and my friends, any my bloggie friends. Thank you so so so very much for welcoming this little girl into our family with such love and joy. We are blessed!

I'll keep posting the progress on the quilt as we work on it. We were able to pick out a pattern for it. I think it'll be so pretty in the end, and know that someday soon, I'll be able to wrap my little WanWen up in her very own 100 good wishes quilt and read her the wishes of how we all loved her so much even before she came.

Thank you all.

ps-I know there are 4 of you that I still owe squishes to. I need to do something first before I can send them. I didn't forget.

So what's the plan?

2012-01-23T12:44:00.000-08:00

I've started this post in my head far too many times, and one thing keeps coming back to me again...
and again...
and again...

I am so so proud. It's a twitter patted kind of proud. The big kind of proud. The proud you dream about the very first time hold your child in your arms and dream all the little dreams of what will come and what they be like. I'm THAT kind of proud.

You see, my girl chose something that goes contrary to the norm. Contrary to everything that people, our community says to do and says is right, because she believes the opposite is right... and good... and best... for her. She talked to people, she gathered information, she weighed her options. Then she thought about it long and hard. She thought about who she is, and what she wants to become and where she wants to go... and then she decided. And it's so not what is "approved of" in our little neck of the woods.

And for this, I'm proud to tears. Proud she is our daughter.

Our Sunny has chosen to stay at home next year and start her post-high-school education at a community college. {insert gasp here} Yep, that's right, she could go most anywhere and she chose the local community college. And we're so flippin' proud that no university, Stanford and Harvard or any ivy league acceptance letter, no honor's program, no test score, or award certificate couldn't top it! And I really mean it!

The chromed bumper-Hummer and Escalade driving community we live in, expects its young people to not only reach for secondary education, but to reach as far as they can and for as much as they (their parents) can afford. It's drilled into them to be better and go higher. And I'm ashamed to admit, that I did my fair share of drilling. Don't get me wrong, I want my kiddos to Always. Do. Their. Best. But it's that definition of what's "best" that has changed in my mind. It doesn't involve that honor roll anymore. Or state champion anything. There's nothing wrong with wanting the best for our children, but over the years I've come to a realization that there are things that are FAR more important. Like character. And helping others. And having a heart for God. And knowing when to step out of the boxes prescribed to us by our society and do what's right and best for us and the world we live in.

It's the time of year when every high-school senior is asked, Where are you going to school next year? and So, what's your plan? And for one of the most confident children {now turn 18-year-old adult} that I've ever known, she's having difficulty looking folks in the eye and telling them her well-thought-out plan. She's feeling the sting of judgement about her decision. And I just want to say for the record how absolutely thrilled we are with her plan and the young woman she is. How proud we are with how strong and fiercely independent she is. It may not be what everyone else is doing, and what others may have planned, but it's her plan and it's a pretty good one too! A good plan, the best plan, doesn't require that you're better anyone else. It doesn't require that you spend a lot of money and it doesn't require that you impress anyone.
I heard a friend say, she thought a community college probably is just as good as a university. I'll go one better than that. I think it's a better education.

I overheard Sunny having an conversation with someone about it. She explained that she has always done better with smaller class sizes, (haven't we parents of grade schoolers been fighting for this forever? Why would it change now?) and she just didn't think it was necessary to spend so much money on foundation classes like Eng 101/102 and Alg I. I'm not fond of the new policy that most universities now have of making all incoming freshman declare a major. She explained that she will easily be able to transfer to the U of A in a year or two and that would give her time to consider what major she'd like to declare before committing. Community college instructors have less demands on them for research and grant-writing and thus are usually more committed to their students and their learning.

I'm telling you, I could not be more proud of my daughter. It's not easy to go against the flow and against expectations. She is simply amazing... amazing to watch the young woman, that we may have had even a tiny part of who she is becoming, grow up into a woman. A woman I really like. And admire. And want to be more like.

And not that it's here or there... but my baby is staying home! She's not going to leave me and our nest just yet. I get to have her company at least for another year. Allowing me to live in my Mama-bliss bubble a little while longer. exhale.

ps-She also says she wants some time to get get to know her new baby sister before she leaves.
And then it got just a little bit better.

Livy's wisdom

2012-01-20T19:01:00.000-08:00

My baby girl isn't feeling well today.
By baby, I mean 15 years old and getting her driver's permit in a couple weeks, and pretty sure she can do my job better than I can do it myself.
But still my baby none the less. You mamas understand.

She's ~~a tad bit~~ swollen up. And don't let that smile fool you. At that point, the pain killers hadn't worn off yet. About an hour later, the pain returned.

In hind site, she may disown me for taking these pictures.
She had her wisdom teeth removed this afternoon and 2 more molars "excised" what ever that means. I know it involves a band and a chain. Ouch.
This is actually phase 1 of 2. The second surgery, coming up this summer, will be bigger and recovery will be longer, a couple weeks longer... thus the reason we're doing it in the summer.

But it does provide me with an opportunity to baby her a bit. Grocery shopping done just on her account. Checking on her. Tucked her in. Papa even went out and got her rainbow sherbet. I gave her a bell to ring if she needs anything... anything at all... like her mama.

I can't help but think that my opportunities to baby her are now few. So I'll gladly seize the opportunity while I can.

Hope you feel better, Liv.
If you need anything, just ring!
And please do ring!

Updated picture

2012-01-17T13:02:00.000-08:00

An updated picture of our darling, and I'm getting nothing done today.

Just staring at her for far too long.

And not long enough.

I Have A Dream for my children

2012-01-16T06:28:00.000-08:00

"I have a dream that {my children} will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

"I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together."

This is just a short excerpt.

It's worth 1 minute and 27 seconds of your time.

Amen

Sunday Snapshot {Pick a season, any season}

2012-01-15T06:09:00.000-08:00

Abrupt departure from previous sledding images to follow
{insert sound of needle scratching across record player here}

This is what we do in the desert...

We blow by September and even October in bathing suits without even a thought...
We wait through winter, November, December...

Then in January, for a VERY brief period of time, say 4 days-ish, we don our very unnecessary winter coats and Ugg boots, huddle beneath one of only a very few trees in our neighborhood that loses its leaves, and play in the leaves.

We pretend it's fall!

I'm not kidding when I say it only lasts a few days.

We gotta hurry because it'll be gone tomorrow. Because, after all, we waited all winter for fall!

We ignore the fact that there's green grass under those leaves and we get out our rakes and toss the leaves on one another.

We even ignore younger children who insist on being barefoot and wearing shorts, while we pretend it's cold, when it's actually 75 degrees outside.

It's all we got, folks! It's autumn and winter with a bit of spring and summer all rolled into one!

Art 5 - - - - check!

2012-01-12T07:43:00.000-08:00

In my email this morning I found this waiting! It's from half way across the world which explains why it came at 12:21am while I was sleeping.

Dear Adoptive Parent,

The Adopted Children's Immigrant Visa Unit (ACIVU) at U.S. Consulate General Guangzhou has finished processing your child's Article 5, and your file is ready to be returned to your adoption agency's facilitator today.

Next, your agency will deliver the Article 5 and Letter of Seeking Confirmation to the China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption (CCCWA), which will issue the Travel Approval (TA). The TA allows you to come to China to finalize the adoption, so once the CCCWA issues the TA, your agency can email us to request an immigrant visa appointment at the Consulate. When your agency requests an appointment, they are required to submit your five choices in rank order. The ACIVU strives to schedule every family for their top appointment choice on which we still have available visa appointments. We do not reserve certain days for children of certain ages. All appointments are open to adopted children of any age and medical condition, and they are assigned on a first-come, first-served basis. We then notify your agency of the scheduled date and time.

We look forward to meeting you and your new family member when you come to the Consulate for your visa appointment!

Best regards,

Adopted Children's Immigrant Visa Unit (ACIVU)
U.S. Consulate General Guangzhou

The Art 5 is the last step that the US gov't has to approve the adoption. The Art 5 is basically an approval of the NVC letter which is an approval of the i800 which is all pre-approved in advance with the i800a which of course we don't want it to stop there was an approval of our home study that was completed back in June of 2010. Clear as mud I know. Yes, that actually is the system of the US govt. So we are officially done with US approvals!!!! (insert huge sigh of relief here) Now we wait for China's step, the travel approval. (insert holding breath here) As soon as the travel approval comes, we'll know specific travel dates, can book our plane tickets, and go get our Mazie.

Average time to get approval is 16 days, but Chinese New Year (or Tet as it is called in our house the Vietnamese way) is coming, and will likely delay the approval at least another week. So we'll be looking for our TA in early February! And hopeful that travel will be in late February.

I'm starting to ache for her.

Desert rats in the snow

2012-01-11T13:03:00.000-08:00

Better than sledding of course, is sledding with your cousins. And the eventual snowball fight that ensued!

See Papa fly fishing on the back side of the little lake?

A little snow couldn't stop him. He says there're trout in there!

These two look sweet!

Don't let their appearance fool you!

This little one had snow down her socks the whole time and a wet jacket.
Bad mama.
Didn't slow her down in the least!

Aunties are the bestest!

Then the inevitable snowball fight started. Boys vs grown-ups.

Notice Jude using the snowmen for cover as the snowball fight progressed.
Smart boy I tell you!

I don't think he regrets throwing the snowball, but he may regret hitting his sister square on the head. Not now necessarily, but definitely later.

This is my 4-year-old son pelting his 2-year-old cousin with a snowball at point blank range. That's my boy!

A little too much y chromosome perhaps? Most definitely.
This child could not be slowed down for gloves, or ski pants, or snow boots, or a proper jacket. As usual.
He did knit the hat himself. Kind of a dichotomy of a boy.

And lastly, proud parents to the crew

I am SO gonna have to buy myself some better sunglasses and a cute hat with a flower.

Now, back down the mountain where we belong, where we escape the snow. Back to green lawns and flip-flops.

The staging area

2012-01-09T08:27:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry I've been gone for so long,
but this has started in earnest.

My closet has turned into a staging area for packing.

Suitcases have been hauled out.
Prescriptions turned in.
Trips to Target have been run.
Gifts purchased.
Meals made and frozen.
Warm coats gotten out.
Lists made and slowly being checked off.
Some tears shed.
Visas applied for.

It's no where near done, but the preparations are well underway now.

Goodness gracious, we're going to get our baby next month!

Top 10 of 2011

2012-01-03T15:45:00.000-08:00

The 2nd annual edition of the top 10, and again, it's no where close to 10. But I whittled the list down from 25 to 16, and that's the best I could do folks!

The pics are in the order taken.

Tess is just so stinking photogenic when I can get her to slow down that is! This pic was actually taken in Disneyland in a very rare moment when she wasn't running around like a headless chicken! The textures, bokeh, reflection are just yummy!

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I got a new 100mm macro for Christmas last year and had some fun playing with it. I just love the way this image "feels," as if I could feel the rose petals without even touching them. And the slightest bit of pink I think is just plain pretty too.

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This photo was taken back in March when we hadn't even seen Mazie's sweet face yet! A little lone ladybug on Jude's finger. Maybe she was trying to tell me good luck was coming! A ladybug is a good luck symbol in China and the China adoption community has kinda adopted it as their good-luck mascot.

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We took a road trip to SoCal in March of 2011. There were several of my favorites were taken in the span of about 45 minutes. I think this one is the best. Jude was not feeling well and Sunny was, as usual being such a wonderful big sister. I love the texture on her sweatshirt, but really, those eyes speak so much about the way he was feeling. Brothers and sisters... mama heart melting!

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If I had to pick my favorite images of the last decade, this one would surely be on the list. I mean do eyes get any better than this? The same eyes I first noticed in her referral pictures almost 4 years ago now. This shot was taken first thing in the morning, when Tess was still in her jammies and not too enthusiastic about having her picture taken. I am SO glad I insisted.

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The one that made me a mama in the first place, and now she's a woman in her own right, and a legal adult to boot! Why do I still feel like a new mom with her at every turn? How could she possibly be 18? Where in the world did she get those eyelashes? No they're not fake, although she gets asked that question daily. They are just amazing, like her!

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More Tess. To me, this image represents so so much healing. This little lady has come so so far in this last year, to a point that we really don't worry too much about her anymore. From a child who injured herself daily, to a child that is now looking to us for comfort and accepting our love. She's so full of energy and wild abandoned, and this image says all that for me.

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I had a hard time picking a favorite from the pow-wow. As usual, there were so many good ones to pick from. It's hard to go wrong at a pow-wow, many colors and movement.

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The stuff our summers are made of! Cousins in their underwear playing in the grass of their grandparents backyard. Just makes me smile every time I see it!

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More summer stuff. This time Papa teaching Liv something he loves loves loves, fly fishing. And the best part is that Live seems to be enjoying it as much he does. One-on-one time with your papa in a house full of kiddos? There's no doubt that that's also why she loves it so! (PS-the pink fishing vest is also adorable!)

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So so Jude. So lovin' on her and holding her along the way, both that day and all along their lives so far. Just today she told me, "Mama, Dude is my bestest friend." No wonder why. I LOVE how she calls him Dude!

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Boy have we had quite the year with this one. I hope we're turning corners, and today it feels like we are. But one look in those baby blues, and I'm a gonner! They are his papa's eyes so it's no wonder. Any picture that captures a 13 year old boy looking good is one of my favorties!

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I didn't take this photo of course, but it still goes down as one of my very favorites. Our new daughter, standing up and looking ever so gorgeous! You have no idea how many times I have looked at this photo. Ok, probably some of you do. Hang on, baby girl! We're coming!

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Again, I photo I didn't take, and it's not very new either. Freud is right in some ways. The present has many many ties to childhood. My papa, circa 1971. My dad suggested we write an epilogue to this post. The original post was from my perspective, and the epilogue would be from his, the reality of how it came to be.

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Oh sweet girl! Sweet beautiful wonderful girl! Think I'll have to get this one blown up big and put on a canvas. It's so her. So gorgeous in every way.

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Lastly, our Christmas card photo this year, complete with a place just waiting for our little Mazie. Actually it's about 5 photos pieced together through the magic of Photoshop. It might be one of my favorite family photos ever.

Caught somewhere between Michelle Duggar, Grizzly Adams, and my crazy me

2011-12-30T15:40:00.000-08:00

You see, I've been trying to channel my inner Michelle Duggar.
I mean really now, does that woman ever lose it? Does she ever fall apart or raise her voice? When she's trying so hard to load her 19 kiddos in the car and Jim Bob is inside on his self-proclaimed "Duggar time," liberally shellacking his hair with just one more coat of Aqua Net, does she ever flip out and yell across that monstrosity of a house of theirs, Cheese and rice, JIM BOB! Just freaking get in the CAR Already!
No, I think not.
She has that sweet voice, that quiet voice that she talks about that seems to imply that she's never even had an inkling that she's ever wanted to take a Duggar progeny out back and tan the hide right off of them purely out of spite and vengeance.

So I try to channel my inner Michelle Duggar when I feel things are falling apart.

And on this occasion, there were a lot of things falling to pieces all around. I mean a lot. And a lot of places for me to fall apart right along with it.

We wanted to visit little-cabin-in-the-woods before the holiday was completely spent. I mean when you live in the desert, it's important to get in your fare share of snowman building, sledding and snowball fights!
But I forgot to give Sunny enough notice to ask for a few days off work, so we ended up waiting till Thursday to leave. And Papa needed a full work week, so he wasn't able to join us till Friday. And that left yours truly traveling solo with the 5 youngest crazy 9's heading up the mountain. So far, no problem.

But we got a late start. The teens slept in, and I wasn't about to tidy up the remnants of the Christmas carnage by myself. I tried to time our departure around lunch so we can pick up crappy fast-food for lunch for the ride up, then hopefully the littles would nap in the car on the 3 hour ride up. But by the time we finally left, it was 2pm. And we hadn't had lunch yet. And getting-very-cranky-by-this-point Tess and Jude hadn't had naps yet either. But at least we we were on our way.

The 3 hours ride up the mountain was somewhat predictable. It was very un-Duggar.

His sock is in my ear again!
No we don't have any scissors right now!
She's kicking my seat!
Keep your car seat buckled!
I wanted a cheeseburger, not chicken nuggets!
My headphones won't work!
But all my friends get to stop for candy bars!
Why can't we have Ketchup in the car?!
Mom, tell me we don't have to listen to your radio station the whole way!
Don't you dare drop that game on the floor... again!
Stop touching her, or you'll be sorry!
My DS isn't working!
For the 20th time, keep your feet on the floor!
You're driving 5 miles over the speed limit, Mom!
I'm thirsty!
Don't make me pull this car over, young man!
I have to go potty, now!
I can't see the video screen!
Mom, I forgot to bring any shoes!

Ya, someone actually forgot shoes. Needless to say, God provided me with many opportunities to practice using my quiet-mom voice in the midst of absolute chaos. I think I held it together... most of the time... although Patch may argue that one with you.

We pulled up to the cabin at 5:30pm. It was already starting to get dark.

First priority is to turn on the water. Find the water valve under 18" of snow. Use bare hands to pry freezing cover off. Use the water key to turn with all my might while simultaneously wondering if Papa has an easier time of this with his manly-man muscles. Wait a minute, is that water seeping in my UGG boots?

Second priority, turn on the heat. My my. 38 degrees seems colder than I remember. Gee it's unusual I cant get the thermostat to turn the heat on. Hmmmmmm...

The furnace wasn't working. I checked the fuse box. I checked the propane tank. I checked the battery in the thermostat. Nope, it was broken and certainly not in my repertoire to know how to fix it. Now where was Jim Bob when I needed him?

Because we never turn the heat completely off in the cabin, (we just turn it really low, like 40 degrees) we never totally drain the cabin and the toilets still had water in them.

Did I say water?

I should have more accurately said ice. Which means that my third priority was to figure out how all of were going to use the bathroom.

It was about this time, about the time that we realized that we could actually see our breath inside the cabin, that the progeny got hungry. Priority #4.

And no TV since it's a cabin and all. Entertainment we could all partake in under the electric blanket was the 5th priority.

Two carry-out pizzas were ordered. All the electric heating blankets, both of them, were dug out and plugged in. 2 space heaters were found and one put in the bathroom to hopefully warm up the frozen-ice toilet. Boys had too much fun peeing in the snow (My inner Michelle Duggar cringed at this.) I downloaded Airplane off Netflix, and we very very slowly watched the temperature creep up. After bundling up the little ones in bed, I made a quick run to the grocery store. And we celebrated our survival with s'mores and hot cocoa. By the time the last kiddo went to bed, it was a balmy 55 degrees.

I sat up at least a couple more hours, tending the fire, mesmerized by the crackle and the glow. I roasted my own marshmallows, all alone in the quiet.

The sweet quiet.

The sweet cold quiet.

And it was truly a sweet time of reflection of our day and all that's possible. After the car ride, the kiddos never complained once about the lack of a toilet, or wet feet, or lack of food, or the cold cold cold cabin. It became an adventure to over come. And overcome we did!

I think Michelle Duggar would have been proud.

And maybe more importantly Wonder Woman and Grizzly Adams!

We were almost at 60 degrees by the time I went to bed.

little photo album

2011-12-29T10:48:00.000-08:00

We forwarded a photo album-board book to our little WanWen. Liv and I sat down in the evenings together and decorated the plain white album with stickers and labels. (if you can read these labels, and it says something like, my foot has a huge bunion, or this house is a sleazy brothel, please don't tell me.)

The photo album was fun to put together and left me wondering if it's something she'll ever see.

To be honest, I'm not sure how much of an advantage it is for an almost 2 year old to see photos of us and our home. I'm just not sure she has the ability to "get it" at such a young age.

But I do think her foster parents will certainly see where she is going and who will be loving on her. And hopefully it will give them a bit of peace about her leaving. I'm sure they love her, after all we think she's been with them since she was just days old.

Last but not least, we tucked some princess stickers inside and as many kisses as it could hold, and sent it on its way.

Leaving us to envision her little fingers holding it and her slobber covering it's pages.

Good bye little photo album. Tell her we love her!

{Sigh} of relief

2011-12-27T19:38:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else out there breathe a sigh of relief when Christmas is over?

I think that makes me a bad mama. But it is what it is. And at least I don't think any of our kiddos are the wiser about my shame.

It's no surprise that Christmas isn't my favorite holiday. And I truly envy all of you who get so excited and decorate and have craft projects just for the holiday.
But...
{Sigh}

What's Christmas without a yo-yo?

Don't get me wrong. We had a good one. Well actually, we had a fabulous one!

Good golly are they sweet when they share!

With ripping and tearing,

and prime rib and Yorkshire pudding,

and stockings and singing too.

I was undeservingly blessed with some awesome gifts!

The bike was FAR to big for him. Off to make an exchange.

My favorite was some RMB Papa tucked in my stocking. Although he says it's not polite to talk about money, but I though you adoption gals would understand how amazingly romantic that was.

And there was a steady and constant stream of The Christmas Story playing all. day. long.

But it's still no Thanksgiving. And it's certainly no 4th of July!

Toddler wielding scissors amid a sea of wrapping paper.

Trying hard to head up the mountain before school starts back up and get in our share of snowball fights and sledding.

NVC and the 50mm

2011-12-23T11:00:00.000-08:00

Like I had mentioned earlier, the next few steps in our adoption are quite complicated. So just trust me when I say that another milestone has been met (insert applause here) with the cable of our approval by the NVC. It's another step the US govt has put in place.

The good news is that we seem to keep shaving off a tiny bit of time with each step. I'm guessing that folks with the US govt are trying to push things through before they leave for Christmas and maybe this is what is responsible for things getting done a little bit faster than usual. The shaved off time is adding up, and confirms that we'll likely leave for China in Feb, rather than March. Which I'm really having a hard time believing!!!! I know it'll be colder in February, but this would be couple weeks sooner that I can wrap my arms around my girly and smother her in kisses, (and likely scare the pants off her, poor sweet thing) and that would be the best gift ever!

Shifting gears...

I'm still frustrated with every image I take recently, so I tried something different. I reached deep into my camera bag and pulled out my 50mm. If we've talked about lenses before, you know I think a 50mm this is THE most important lens anyone can have, and it's the first lens any DSLR owner should purchase and practice with. And because I'm a hypocrite, I'll share that I hardly ever use my 50mm. Hanging head in shame now. But here's the thing, Papa and I bought this lens when we were in college! That makes my 50mm over {cough cough} 25 years old! It's is a dinosaur, circa 1987. A relic. When it focuses it sounds like sand, and it produces images that are always in soft focus. I think it has a light leak too. The results always leave me wanting. But I'm desperate I tell ya! So out it came.

So here are some pics of part deux of the cookie making, the part where Granna so generously volunteers her kitchen again, the kiddos scatter massive amounts of sprinkles.

Ok, ya, the adults couldn't resist getting involved either!

My sister-in-laws and yours truely

Dear Santa,

I'd like a new 50mm lens for Christmas.

Crazy me

All the granddaughters... so far.

Merry Christmas Eve Eve, Y'all!

20 things that consume my crazy thoughts

2011-12-20T07:06:00.000-08:00

The littles are completely consumed with this song.
It's catchy and all, but I'm not sure why.
. . . . . . . .
Any other Mad Men fans out there? When is season 5 starting?
. . . . . . . .
My camera is breaking. Shutter issues. I'm not sure how much longer I can nurse it.
. . . . . . . .
Jude dreams about Baby Mazie almost every night. He tells me so each morning.
. . . . . . . .
I made lasagna last night, and my husband said it was one of the bet meals I ever made! Mama bliss.
The recipe is here which doesn't seem so special, but like I said, they love love loved it!
. . . . . . . .

I must have one of these made to look like Mazie. I'm pretty sure it will be her 2nd birthday present.
. . . . . . . .
I miss Peggy. A lot.
. . . . . . . .
After a LOT of discussions and some stress, Sunny has a plan! A plan about what she'd like to do next year! I'm going to try to get her to write a post sharing the details.
. . . . . . . .
My papa wants to get together and do an epilogue of this post. Like the details and how it all came to be.
. . . . . . . .
I have bangs again.
. . . . . . . .
I miss Don. Why is Don so yummy when he treats women like crap?
. . . . . . . .
I have absolutely no desire to take photographs. I'm not happy with any of them.
. . . . . . . .
Feb 29th is looking like a probable travel date to China.
. . . . . . . .
My dog is getting old. That's sad when that happens.
. . . . . . . .
We're gonna head up to Little Cabin in the Woods after Christmas for some good ol' sledding, snowball fights, and snowman building. Now where DID I put my long underwear?
. . . . . . . .
I really miss Jonie. Is the baby she's carrying Greg's or Rodger's?
. . . . . . . .
Bullying and school issues have taken a back seat during Christmas break.
It feels reeeeaaal good not to think about it for 2 whole weeks.
. . . . . . . .
I am so doing this... as soon as I have a moment to spare.
. . . . . . . .
Our traditional Christmas dinner menu is scheduled, prime rib, Yorkshire pudding, fresh green beans... Worthy of breaking my diet for.
. . . . . . . .
Heck, I miss even Betty. Seriously, when is season 5 starting???

Cookies and Santa

2011-12-18T08:40:00.000-08:00

He told us before our visit, that he was not going to sit on Santa's lap. He was adamant. And that was ok.

He changed his mind.

I800 and Pearl

2011-12-17T06:05:00.000-08:00

OK... truth be told... from here on out the steps to bring Mazie home make my head spin! My eyes water! It's just SO confusing! When I try to figure it out, my eyes start to gloss over and even doing the laundry starts to looks fun.
But yesterday we got our I800 approval! And only because I cut and pasted this next sentence, do I know actually what that means.

It's your approval from USCIS (that's the United States government, Dept of Homeland Security and all things immigration) to adopt the child (that would be the sweet adorable, have-you-seen-that-adorable-smirk-on-her face Mazie Jade Wanwen) you were matched with specifically.

China approved us with our LOA!
And now the United States approved us with our I800!
So now I think it's a done deal, and there're just some serious paper shuffling that has to be done for the next 6 weeks or so! Something about cables and PDFs and emails and calling people at just the right time. I honestly haven't a clue what the next steps entail, and will have to rely and others to walk me through it. So for the next little while, I'll post some happy milestones reached in our adoption journey, and y'all can just nod your heads and say congrats. In theory, our agency says we can expect to travel in 10-12 weeks! Oh ya baby, you read that right! We're talking WEEKS now not months!

And I'm leaving you with the most amazing picture.
Taken by China staff, and it was titled Wanwen and friend.

That's our Mazie Jade Wanwen on the left and her happy clapping friend on the right. Isn't "friend" beautiful with the sweetest smile! Mazie and "friend" are foster sisters, and she's also a special need's adoption through our agency. I've corresponded with her soon-to-be parents a few times, and her name is going to be Pearl! Don't you just love the name Pearl! Pearl is 5 months younger than Mazie, which leaves me wondering if Mazie is pip squeak tiny. Her SN could make her not sit up as straight and tall as Pearl, but really, she looks small in this photo.
Y'all know how much I adore old-fashioned names, and just the thought of these two little ones, with names full of history and tradition and strength, Mazie and Pearl, making a family in the middle of an orphanage, halfway across the world... makes my heart sing!

Tess draws

2011-12-16T15:52:00.000-08:00

I asked her who she was drawing a picture of. And that was her reply verbatim, as she simultaneously added the anatomically correct appendage.
Oh yes she did!
I almost spit my drink out my nose!
I guess with boy-girl virtual twins it's to be expected.
And at 4 1/2 "parts" are a popular topic of conversation between them.
Just keeping it real.

Her orphanage - Shangrao CWI

2011-12-13T13:27:00.000-08:00

Mazie is growing up in a orphanage.
That word stings.
Orphanage.
I mean just the word conjures up images hunger and doing without, coldness, fear, hunger, and lack. Not the kinda of place anyone wants a child to grow up in.

Papa, Livy, and I had the opportunity to visit Tess and Jude's orphanage in SaiGon. That visit, although brief, changed all 3 of us forever. We saw school children in their classroom, just like any other school kids except no one is waiting in the carpool line to ask them how their day was. We saw the small "baby room" with row after row of sterile metal cribs, each with a baby... and no mama love. We saw caretakers who were spread as thin as the formula in the baby bottles.
We walked out of the Thu Duc Orphanage and never saw the world the same way again.

We are hoping to visit Mazie's orphanage on this trip too. It is very unusual for adoptive parents to visit the China orphanage that their child came from, but we know there is a slight possibility of visiting Mazie's orphanage since other families before us have been able to arrange it. We'll make the request to visit when we get to China, and pray our guides can arrange it. If we're lucky enough to get permission to visit, it is likely we will be able to meet our little pot sticker's foster parents! Fingers crossed. We know this would be an incredible link to Mazie in the future.

We know a bit about Mazie's orphanage already. It's located in the southeastern China province of Jiangxi.

What struck Papa and I first when we saw pictures of the orphanage, was the size of it! And in additional to looking very large it looks very modern. It has several sponsors including our agency.

Entry/lobby of orphanage. The only thing better than the mural are the chandeliers!

But here's the really amazing thing about this orphanage... the thing that has us tickled pink!
The orphanage was rebuilt and had a grand reopening September of 2010.

Photo taken at the grand opening. This photo is priceless to us as it shows the extended community at the orphanage.
We're pretty sure Mazie is in the back row on the lap of the woman in pink., the smaller bald baby.
We're also confident that that her foster mama holding her and her foster dad on their right.

They built a building with 13 individual apartments inside of the orphanage for "group home families" to live. Currently there are 8 individual apartments on the grounds of the orphanage being used. Each apartment or "group home" has a married couple who are foster mama and foster papa to 5 orphaned babies. Each apartment has the sitting room, kitchen, one big play room, two bedrooms, (one is for the children and one is for the parents) and two bathrooms.

Living room

kitchen in a "group home" apartment

The foster parents are the sole caregivers to the 5 little ones in their charge. They eat all their meals with their group home family and sleep in the group home. The children stay with their group home parents, foster parents, almost every day, for 24 hours. They live together like a regular family.

One of the bedrooms with 5 cribs in a row for each baby

This whole "group home" concept is just amazing! For us it's the jackpot of orphanages! It's the best case scenario as far as orphanages are concerned. A permanent foster family who can love on our little one and show her what a family feels like! No rotating care givers. Bonding and attaching is taking place!
To Papa and I, everything else is secondary.

playground at the orphanage

Now this setup is no guarantee that our little Miss Mazie is getting the TLC she deserves. But it certainly is a good sign.
We've seen first hand what happens when this love and attachment and TLC doesn't happen. When bonding doesn't happen and needs are not met. We've seen first hand what happens to one's soul.

Every single thing is secondary to this child, our new daughter, being consistently loved on and provided for right now.

But don't get me wrong... it's still an orphanage.

***most of the photos taken by 2 families that visited the orphanage when adopting their daughters in 2011.

The teenagers

2011-12-12T09:26:00.000-08:00

I'm surprised by it!

Amazed by it!

Shocked that I'm going to say it.

But so thankful that I feel this way.

Here it goes...
I absolutely adore teenagers! And for the most part, I really have enjoyed parenting them.
When it's good, it's so so good.
And when it's bad... well it's just about as gut wrenching as anything that I could have ever imagined.

Sunny, Liv, and Patch are now 18, 15 and 13 years old.
I've had little ones in my home for 18 years now, and taught 4th, 5th, and 6th grade back in my working days. But I had very little experience with teens. And frankly it scared me a bit. All I remember is high school, and honestly that was a trying time.

So I still find myself surprised at times that I am really enjoying this season of my parenting, a time when there are 3 teens ~~scratching each other's eyes out~~ co-habitating under our roof. We've had some rough patches. And I'm sure there are more hard times before us. Times when we aren't sure which path they're gonna take. It's hard to watch them fall. So hard to watch them hurt. And even more glorious when they pick themselves up and are all the better for it. When they learn from their mistakes and become better.

As parents of teens...
we settle a lot of arguments.
we negotiate.
we spend a lot of time together.
we learn to speak in a quiet voice.
we say I'm proud of you.
we pick our battles.
we praise and praise and praise some more.
we respect their privacy.
we constantly reiterate our expectations.
we check on them constantly in a variety of ways.
we try to set a good example.
we listen.
we say thank you.
we emphasize character.
we pray for them.
we pray with them.
we hold firm on our consequences.
we think out of the box.
we make mistakes and say I'm sorry a lot.
and we genuinely like them!

Sunny, Liv and Patch,
Thank you.
Thank you for some of the best years ever... some of the hardest and most wonderful years ever. Thank you for forgiving my shortcomings. Thank you for growing into young adults that I am so crazy ridiculous proud to call my children. Thank you for tolerating my singing. And dancing. If you weren't my children, I'd still want to be in your lives because you are all that.
Mama

Operation Super-stealth Conrad

2011-12-08T06:50:00.000-08:00

Remember this post?

Conrad has gone dramatically down hill in the last 3 months. It was getting bad. Jude was waking up with random bits of stuffing in his bed each morning.

Well it got us thinkin'. What if something were to happen to Conrad? We'd be up the proverbial creek! Jude would never ever forgive us! And at the rate that Conrad was losing stuffing, that "something" was going to happen very soon!

Then the S word happened... scabies. Conrad in the thick of the battle against the critters. I just didn't know if he could take one more round with the washing machine! He's gotten particularly fragile with all the lovin' that Jude pours out on him daily.

Enter Build-A-Bear. No, the 17 year old sales girl tells me, they don't make that kind of dog any more. ...discontinued almost a year ago. Maybe you could try the really super cute German Shepard stuffed dog? They're almost the same! She's obviously never had children.

Enter Ebay. Papa's brilliant idea. Jackpot! With shipping it was less than Build-A-Bear.

Enter a fabulous story unfolded over a few days about a special trip Conrad would take to the dog groomer. Everything else was getting cleaned anyway due to the critters. Conrad was going to come home all clean and brushed and pretty!

After a bit of skepticism, he bought it.

Hook, line, and sinker.

Operation Super-stealth Conrad... successful!

There's critters among us

2011-12-06T08:49:00.000-08:00

Scabies.
Enough said.

Well... maybe not.
I wouldn't be surprised if my washer and dryer died of exhaustion at any moment.
We treated the 4 youngest kiddos, since their rooms are all in the same proximity. I have no idea where it came from. Only 1 kiddo, Patch, shows any real signs, and even the doc couldn't confirm the diagnosis. But he said it was better to be safe than sorry. Boo "might" have been bitten by some bug, but it's hard to tell. Jude's always getting eaten alive since he's very sweet. And then we threw Tess in for good measure.

"Treatment" involves washing every single soft surface,
like sheets
and comforters,
and pillow cases
and pillows
and blankets
and beloved lovies
and all the stuffed animals
and clothing
and curtains
and dust ruffles
and jackets
and hats
and carpet
and rugs
and cushions
and shoes
and all the socks since I can't tell which ones they wear and which ones they just wad up into a ball and toss back into the sock basket

My laundry room contains a huge mountain of things to be washed... in hot.

#72 - 80

2011-12-05T10:21:00.000-08:00

I'm so behind on posting the quilt squares we've received. There are several more, which I will try to get posted next week, after I get the tree trimmed ,and the presents bought, and the cookies baked, and the stocking stuffed, and... and... and... 'tis the season to be busy.

Yes, according the the counter over there, we're up to 99 squishes! I know one more person that is going to give me 2 more squares even if it means I have to drive to their house and cut it off the clothes they're wearing. And there are a couple more emails that I've gotten that have said they'd like to send a wish... but right now I'm just stuck on 99. I know I'm gonna make it to 100. Which if you would have told me this when I was only in the 20's I never wouldn't have believed it! I had some serious doubts! I am blown away by the wishes and love that has poured out to our new daughter still waiting half way across the world. If you'd still like to contribute, please do. It's going to be Mazie's 100+ good wishes quilt. My mom and I will be getting together in January to start the cutting and piecing.

From my sister who is in Japan right now. I think the Japanese packaging is cute! If you don't know the story of why she signed it Aunt George, it's here.

I miss her.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

From my wonderful bloggie friend (over at Joyful Mama Gives In) and her family. She's getting ready to be matched with a new daughter very very soon. Notice that the card is in the same print as the fabric. I have no idea how she did that!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I love love love this fabric! I think I want to do a whole room around this fabric! Kate writes that she fell in love with it too and didn't know just what to do with it. But then she stumbled across our blog and saw our request for squishes and decided to send us a square. How sweet! Thank you so so much, Kate!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Oh how sweet are these fabrics! Love love love more lady bugs! And please don't miss the detail on the wish, complete with sparkly tipped flower.
The wish is going to be one of my favorites... "Never leave the house without your lipstick and a smile." Oh I just love it! How true.

I'll get the next ones posted soon. For now I'm off to the pediatrician's office. School nurse just called. That's never good. Some rash like thing has appeared on one of the boys. Uh oh.

Thank you ALL so so much!

Christmas cookies part 1

2011-12-04T13:38:00.000-08:00

There are the Christmas cookies that you bake with your kiddos, (and I use that term "bake" loosely because really only the moms bake and the kiddos dump icing and sprinkles all over the finished product and the floor while eating at least half of it) because Christmas just wouldn't be the same without baking cookies with the kids.

And then there are the Christmas cookies that you bake to give away to your orthodontist, and the school bus driver, and your next door neighbor...

This year we had the absolutely brilliant to NOT do both at once. Two separate baking sessions with 2 separate objectives. Brilliant I tell you! Why we hadn't thought of this years ago is beyond me.

This is the baking session that is all about actually turning out cookies. Lots of cookies. Done on a school day so most of the children won't interrupt the bakers.

My sister-in-laws and I got together with my mother-in law and started to crank 'em out.

My mother-in-law's kitchen is gorgeous, especially before we junked it up with all our diaper bags, and sippy cups, and baking stuff. A bakers dream! And it has 2 ovens and 2 mixers! Enough said.

The littlest kiddos came with.
Sometimes on our hips.

Or here Tess and Jude are trying to teach their cousin P how to escape. Stink pots!

We donned our aprons and used so much butter that we shocked even ourselves. I won't tell you how much butter we actually used. It's just too embarrassing.
I actually wore an apron that belonged to my husband's great grand mother, Grandma Jennie. Who was from Sweden, had a thick Swedish accent, and couldn't really pronounce her own J, so it was more like Grandma Yenny when she said it.

This recipe is hand written by my mother-in-law's mother, Granny Annie. Snickerdoodles. Can't pass that up! I met Granny Annie when I was a teenager. I liked her instantly as she reminded me of my own Granny. Tough as nails and loved her children through thick and thin.

My favorite is Mexican wedding cookies. Also called Russian tea cookies. They were my grandmother's, Mazie's, favorite too. Maybe little Miss M will like them too.

Holly cookies were a special request of Sunny. (Like Rice Krispy treats but with Corn Flakes, green food coloring, and a few red hots) Nobody's grandmother made holly cookies, although Kellog's Corn Flakes were made available to the public in 1906, so maybe they did make holly cookies. Maybe they will be made by Sunny's granddaughters someday.

I think we make 6 different kinds of cookies and 2 types of candy and fudge.

And a huge mess.
Thank you, Granna!

Stay tuned for Christmas cookies part 2 - in which the children consume more icing than they actually put on the cookies!

Bullying - Part II in which we talk about homeschooling

2011-12-02T07:36:00.000-08:00

Week 1---Within a few hours of my talk with my sweetie, emails were fired off to the school administration, the teacher where most of the "incidents" were taking place, and the school counselor.

Sweetie pie is torn. Doesn't want to go to school. Doesn't want the stigma of tattling.
Sweetie pie uses anger and belligerence as a first line of defense. Aside from being a mama, it's hard to react with grace and after being poked with a sharp stick for more than a few ~~days~~ ~~hours~~ minutes.

So... now what?

I've home schooled previously. Specifically this kiddo. I only did it for a few months, coincidentally (maybe not?) when the bullying started. In that incident, the teacher was a huge contributor to the problem, and the administration had tied hands. With administration, we worked out a plan that I'd home school for the remainder of the year, work on esteem issues, (honestly the school work was secondary... maybe thirdary) and administration would "hold" my child's space at the school till the following year. (My children all attended an alternative public school that has a lengthy waiting list.) I don't know the particulars except to say that this teacher was the only one not asked to return the following year.
So in my head again, is homeschooling. This child is all for it and has requested it many times over the last couple years. Maybe in part due to the fact when we did it previously, school work was a bottom priority, and that was obviously a very attractive feature to said child.

My only hesitation to home schooling, is that our sweetie absolutely positively needs to learn some organizational skills and the consequences of follow through. My sweetie needs to learn to follow directions from several different teachers, keep track of all of the different responsibilities, and find a system to follow through with obligations. This has been an area of serious concern for... ever. This skill is one that I don't think I, or any one person, can teach. Would love love love some input from some homeschooling mamas now, who teach upper grades. How do I teach the organizational skills that typical middle/high schools require simply as a result of the fact that there are multiple teachers with various teaching styles?

I've research homeschool in the meantime. Found something that really feels "right."

Week 2---
Things seem to be getting better this week. We've discerned that the main source of the bullying is one person. Other kiddos are picking up on it and joining in, but knowing the main instigator has helped us know where to focus our efforts. Sweetie has always been a bit socially awkward and when younger, it came across as the class clown. Now as time passes, it has become an easy target. It's no excuse for what's happening. It is what it is.

Sweetie pie seems to feel better about going to school this week. And it's really really helped us focus our efforts on academic issues, which really really need attention.

Our efforts here at home are to teach our sweetie socially acceptable and appropriate behaviors. We are also providing lots of opportunities in many areas for success. My dad has been a wonderful source of help. The two have been spending a large quantity of quality time together, doing many projects.

Ok... that's where it sounds now. Getting better for now. But still not out of the woods.

Spot It

2011-12-01T06:43:00.000-08:00

With family around, we naturally gravitate towards games. And the Thanksgiving celebrations brought lots of family and thus games.

Again, there was a lot of Qwirkle going on. I posted about it here.

But Sunny has a new job, (I think I forgot to mention that) and she's working at a toy store! My oldest having the 411 on all the cool games and toys... that's mama bliss!

So she has the best info on new fun games and insisted that we buy this one!
It's called Spot It, and it's a fast paced matching game that can be played several different ways.

And it meets my 4 big criteria for an awesome gotta-have family game!

1---It's cheap.

2---It's small and doesn't take up room in the game cupboard.

3---Adults and kiddos can play together.

4---It's really fun!

If your looking for a little Xmas gift to give a whole family, or maybe for your own family, I highly recommend. Or just go ahead and get two. It's that fun.

LOA in pictures

2011-11-29T12:52:00.000-08:00

The LOA was only in our house about 4 hours. Papa and I signed and happily checked the box yes, saying "We accept the adoptee."

Jude and Tess helped me ship it off to the US gov't, and now we wait for Mazie's visa approval.

Hurry up and wait.

Another wonderful day!

LOA!

2011-11-28T14:48:00.000-08:00

Day #83 of waiting, and it has finally finally come!!!!!! The LOA, or letter of acceptance, is basically a letter from China authorities that say that they have looked over our paperwork and looked over sweet little WanWen's (Mazie's) paperwork, hooked them together and approved us to adopt her!

It's a huge freakin' deal!

It's official, she's ours!

She's ours!

We have a new daughter!

The funny part, is that out of our 5 phones in this house, we have not a single blasted phone that works. We're down to only one that actually works (the others are broken or MIA) and of course over the holiday weekend, the battery went dead, and now we can't find it either! Now every time the phone rings, I have to run back to our bathroom, sit on the commode and answer the only phone in the house, the one that's attached to that wall. Sobbing tears of happiness and praise on the commode as I received this glorious news!

Yes, it was closed.

The kiddos are so so excited too! Patch and Boo keep telling the littles, Baby Mazie is coming! Jude is ready to get in the car right now and go get her!

Wonderful wonderful news today! Thank you, God!

Little WanWen, we're coming eventually! Coming to wrap you in love and kiss your adorable cheeks and squeeze the stuffin' out of you!

PS- I think I'll take Papa phone shopping tonight to celebrate!

Yummies

2011-11-28T07:13:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the holidays, I've been a cooking and baking fool these days.
And I went out on a limb this year... I tried brand new, unproven recipes for Thanksgiving for company! I know! Scary stuff, but that's just how I roll! Livin' life on the edge! Ya, I'm a rebel!

Wanted to share some of the new recipes that I've tried the last few weeks in case you need some new ideas. None of these recipes are hard. I don't do hard mostly because I just don't have the time for it.

Chocolate Peanut butter Pie

Hello Lover!

If you love it so much why don't you marry it?

I think I just may! Crazy Mrs. Peanut Butter Pie has a nice ring to it.

This pie is so rich that a very very small slice was plenty. Easy enough to make, and even though I'd never made a chocolate ganache before, that was easy too! Skipped the garnish and just used a store-bought ghram cracker crust because I'm that lazy. Use the hot knife trick mentioned in the recipe!

Bacon Rosemary Tomato Pasta

Oh yes, will definitely add this to our dinner menu. I did add chicken to this to make it a bit heartier for dinner, and cheap ol' Roma tomatoes were just fine instead of cherry. I also liberally added the balsamic vinegar that the recipe says is optional. Severed with a salad and a loaf of crusty bread and everyone at the dinner table loved it and said I should make it again.

Rosemary Buttered Rolls

I will never purchase already baked rolls for a holiday supper again. Ever. I promise. These rolls were almost as wonderful as the second coming. It was the hit of the meal. We all gained at least 5 extra lbs each... and it was worth it.

Egg Cups with Bacon

Was looking for some new ideas to expand our breakfast menu, and these did the trick. Fast and easy enough to do for the kiddos before school and well liked. I need to play with the amount of the time they spend int he oven to make sure they're not over or under done, but definitely will be adding to our menu. I might precook the bacon to make it even easier in the morning. (PS-Love love to cook bacon in the oven! So easy and far less mess.)

Pumpkin Butter

My kiddos adore pumpkin butter, and I adore anything that get pumpkin in their diet. Pumpkin is so so good for you! Think apple butter, but no apples, pumpkin instead. We spread it on toast, or pancakes, or biscuits, or when I'm not looking Sunny tries to eat it directly from the spoon. I've tried a few recipes for it, and I like this one because it doesn't have pectin and it doesn't have as much sugar as other recipes. I do cut back the cinnamon a bit. It's super easy to make and makes a great hostess gift too... unless your kiddos eat it all first.

Chicken Stock

I was sick and tired of buying canned chicken broth at the grocery store. It's stupidly expensive, and it seems every soup recipe I need it for calls for 8 cans at least. So my sister in law and I decided to give-'er-a-go and I'm never buying that expensive yellow water again. It's ridiculously easy to make chicken stock. Fiddle with the herbs and veggies to what you have on hand. Then I can a whole bunch of it and save it in the pantry. I only make it when I have a chicken carcass on hand, after some kind of chicken meal. (Turkey carcass is in the freezer as we speak waiting for next week's stock making.) And I discovered that stock makes the most amazing rice when used instead of water!

Bacon Herb Cupcakes

Wonderful appetizer that isn't served hot so you can take it to a potluck! Bite sized, these were eaten as fast as I could make them on Thanksgiving day! Will so so so so make again. The girls and I made them days ahead time and froze them, then put them int he fridge to thaw the day before. Garnished with cream cheese and bacon last minute, (and sage since I had some fresh in my garden) and they didn't take up much time at all. they were possible one of the top 10 appetizers ever!!!

Pumpkin Monkey Bread

I'm totally not a fan of these Pillsbury rolls, except for that part when you pop open the can and the rolls come bursting out of the can! That's always fun even when you're 43! But this was made from Sunny's request in lieu of a cake for her birthday brunch. How could I say no? So I made it and it was a sugary hit! I'll do it again for sure, but I think I'll find a recipe that uses regular bread dough instead. The younger kiddos had fun making it though and popping open the cans!

Pasta with Whisky Wine and Mushrooms

Another one we'll definitely add to our dinner rotation. It has cream in it! What's not to love? Coming from my Irish-American heritage, finding some whiskey in the back of a cupboard wasn't hard. The recipe calls for heavy whipping cream. I substituted 1/2 and 1/2 just fine. Served with a tomato-basil salad and again, some crusty bread. There were no left overs.

Tomato Basil Bisque

Saved the best one for last. I'm not a fan of tomato soup. Never have been. But Sunny, our foodie-in-training, kept going back to the same restaurant to get a particular tomato soup, and asked if I could try and make something similar at home. This has been made multiple times since. I cut the veggies very small and add zucchini or some kind of squash too. Again, I substitute 1/2 and 1/2 for the cream cause really, who needs the extra fat, and this soup is still quite rich. And I substituted about 1/2 of the canned tomatoes for fresh since they were on sale for 33cents a lb. No, I didn't peel them either. Serve totally alone, or with grilled cheese sandwiches, and you'd think I was Julia Child!

Holler if you try any of them. Would love to know what your family thought!

Sunday Snapshot {Sunny turns 18}

2011-11-26T17:50:00.000-08:00

She was born on Thanksgiving. Just a few minutes after midnight she made her arrival. And I was discharged from the hospital just after noon that very same day, so I could host Thanksgiving dinner at my home that day. Oh to be young again! I didn't do much but sit in a chair with my less-than-24-hour-old newborn and said hi to the family as they came in with the food.

It's hard to believe that was 18 years ago.

She was my first.

That makes her special in many ways.

How old are you today? I 'm a whopping eighteen...can you imagine that? It was just yesterday I was a youngin!

What did you pick for your birthday dinner? Weeeeeelll I don't like dinner, I like lunch and breakfast, so I had a birthday brunch. My mommy made me some pumpkin monkey bread :)

What are your favorite foods and why? I loveeeee french fries, pho, peanut butter, brie, oooo and tomato soup. O yah and why..hmmm... just cause that's what my tastes buds fancy!

What's your favorite color? Yellow, enough said. O wait and teal and a bright orange....o and maybe red and pink. O yes and purple. Maybe a little blue. Well I guess I can't leave out brown and black and white too. What did I forget...O yah and green!

If you could live anywhere, where would you live and why? I would live in a big house outside of a big city in southern California. That would be amazing! That would be the best of both worlds. It's a nice place to live, and it's by the beach.

Do you like school? I don't like the stairs at school, but the actual buildings? Yah I guess they are pretty nice, I mean they are very architecturally sound!

Who are your best friend(s)? Livy and S (and my mommy...shhhh don't tell her!)

What do you want to do when you grow up? I don't think I care what I do as long as I can provide for my family and can afford the lifestyle I want.

What is something you do well? EVERYTHING! No! 'm just kidding, I would like to think I'm someone people can look to for help. I think that maybe those are some of the best qualities a person can have. I think I acquired those from my parents.

What is something you'd like to do better? I would like to learn to be a better listener. I think that if I could listen and hear and understand other peoples views and opinions I would learn a lot about the people I have known my whole life. I think that would be really cool if i could learn something new about someone I spend everyday with if all I had to do was listen.

Who is your role model? I'm not sure I have found my one person that is my ultimate role model. I look to a lot of people in my life for guidance, but I don't have one person I go to. Maybe my idea of who I want to be is my role model for me today. More of a goal than someone to lean on in order to get there.

For no other reason that it makes me smile...

2011-11-23T06:54:00.000-08:00

Yep, still a hoarder.
Still so insanely cute it's helping me not dwell on the bullying stuff for now.

Bullying

2011-11-22T16:44:00.000-08:00

One of my kiddos has been the target of some bullying. Because several of my children and several of their friends, and several of my friends read this blog, it's probably best to not say which one. If you're close to us, you probably know which one it is.

So we've known that there has been "issues" and "incidents" in the past. Like over the past few years. And we have chosen to deal with them at home. Discussing appropriate ways to deal with name calling. Who to tell. Discussing what a man of character really looks like. And until now, we've always felt we had a handle on it. But unbeknownst to us, things haven't really changed. We've given sweetie pie some methods to deal with bullying, but it's continued. And as a child ages, these things start to impact one's soul. We could narrow it down to a couple specific kiddos as the source of the problem, but to be honest, it sounds as if there is a bigger issue at hand. One where our sweetie finds themselves at the bottom of the pecking order.

Today's after-school homework session escalated into a very angry child. Too angry. Something told this mama that there was more at play than a forgotten assignment. Up to my elbows in pies and gravy and cranberry sauce, all the turkey-day prep was literally put aside so I could do some active parenting. We talked, I dug a bit, some of it came out. I dug about a bit more. Then the tears started to flow. Anger gave way to sadness. Depression. More details. It's so hard to say the names aloud, even to your mama. Even school "friends" getting in on the action.

In the end I heard, Thank you, Mama. Thank you for helping me with this school stuff. Ya, then my tears welled up. This child is simply amazing. Rising to a challenge. Finding their place in the world, with a heart for God and a spirit I truly envy.

So we're taking the next step. We're reaching out for help. Asking the school to step up. Maybe we should have done so sooner. I'll resort to one of my mantras. I do the best I can with what I have at the time. Now I know. Now I'll do better. For my child.

If anyone has any suggestions, I'll take 'em.

I have no dinner prepared tonight.
And the house is a disaster.
And company is coming tomorrow morning.
Oh well.
Some things are more important.

Bullying Part II

Sunday Snapshot {Jude in Black & White}

2011-11-20T11:26:00.000-08:00

He has learned how to surf the web. Papa has installed some safety precautions, and we regularly hear the "bing" on Papa's cell phone alerting us when Jude has stolen away somewhere (usually behind a closed door in a end table) with Papa's tablet and is trying to make a purchase. Spider man movies and videos games are his favorites.

He still has to sleep with Conrad. And even though we've repaired him many times, Conrad continues to get holes. And is pretty ratty in general. I'm not sure he's going to survive another round with the washing machine. And I'm not sure Jude would accept a newer version of Conrad, although I'm pretty sure Build-a-Bear still sells them.

He knows how to operate NetFlix way better than me. It's scary.

He's all boy. He's pretty consumed with weapons and all superheros, but especially Spider Man and Ice Man. I have no idea who Ice Man is, except that Boo told me he's Spider Man's friend. According to Jude, Ice Man shoots ice out of his wrists or fingertips... I'm not sure which. And I guess this ultimately culminates in abducting bad guys, and securing world peace. And despite that we've never had gun-type toys in our home, he's almost always making gun sounds.

Left to his own, he'd be a vegetarian. The boy loves loves loves fruits and vegetables. Tell the boy we're having a salad for dinner, and he's seriously excited. Probably his favorite is tomatoes. He'll eat 2 at every sitting if I could keep that many in stock.

He's one of the shyest children I have. If approached when we're out and about, he'll pull his head in his shirt then bury his head in my leg. Thus his preschool teachers are still concerned about developing his vocabulary and language skills, which is pretty tough with a child that won't talk to you. At home, he's a chatter box. Seriously I can not shut him up.

He's asking questions. With Mazie's upcoming arrival, he's asking where he was before we came to get him and about the folks that cared for him. Questions I will never have the answers to. He's especially consumed with the man that is holding him in these pictures. He wants to know his name. I have to say again, that I don't know, but surely this man loved him. I know big questions are still to come. Why didn't we come sooner? How did he get there? And one of these days we will surely run into a pregnant lady, and his wheels will start turning.

In honor of National Adoption month

2011-11-19T08:18:00.000-08:00

LEGACY OF AN ADOPTED CHILD

Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears
One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.
Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.

---- Unknown

The cutest smile in the whole wide world!

2011-11-17T07:45:00.000-08:00

A surprise.
An update of our sweet gorgeous ever-growing Mazie Jade!

Compete with modestly stuffed animal to cover up split pants.

Did you see all the teeth? 10 of them to be exact!

And who, by the way, is finally walking!

It appears that there might be a serious cowlick issue.

She is described as "easy going" and very attached to her foster mama and likes to be held by her!

She is still tiny! Which Tess will likely be happy about because Tess keeps thinking "Baby Macy" is about the size of a hamster, and I don't know how to explain to her that at 2 years old Mazie might be bigger than her.

Proud papa and mama, and brothers and sisters waiting half way across the world.

I grew up in a van down by the river.

2011-11-16T08:07:00.001-08:00

Ok, not really.

It was actually a 1967 Volkswagen Westfalia pop-top bus.
And it wasn't the river... it was the Sea of Cortez.

Barra de Navidad, Jalisco, Mexico, 1972
Typical camp set up. Gotta love the sunshade on the windshield.
And the way the doors were always open for maximum ventilation.

And ok... coming clean, I didn't literally "grow up" in that van. Although there was a long stint of my childhood where we did live in said Volkswagen bus. Say... around the age of 3. There was a little built in kitchen. And a bed. And curtains. It was the early 70's after all. Think kinda hippie-esque. Think clothing optional.

That car was a part of my childhood. That car was my friend.

Santa Cruz, Jalisco, Mexico, 1972
This river feeds into a bay that goes out to the ocean.
I guess literally this time it is "a van down by the river."

There certainly was no air conditioning. No McDonald's french fries and goldfish scattered about. No cup holders. No GPS. No video player. No car seats, seat belts, or restraint system of any form. I'm sure there was no satellite radio. Or a cell phone at an arm's length. No moon roof. Surely no traveling at 65 miles per hour.

Like I said, I was quite little, so I don't remember much. I do remember some things vividly, although I'm not sure accurately.

Central Baja, Mexico, 1972
Camping surely because the top is popped.

There was a collection of seashells. There was a constant rattling of canned food. There were open windows and wind in my hair. And Joni Mitchell. And lots of Loggins & Messina, although I can't tell you how the music actually played. And a mini fridge we had to put ice in to keep things cold. And a little fold up table we ate breakfast at. And the tiniest little closet.

I remember the sunsets even way back then.

Outside Guadalajara, Mexico, 1972
Eating watermelon on the side of the road.
I'm the little one. Don't miss the surf boards on the roof rack.

There was fresh fish and shrimp for almost every meal. And amazing fresh fruit everywhere. And there were carved sticks to roast marshmallows with at night. And I think I remember wild flowers lying on the dash. And sand between my toes in the morning and the heat of sunshine on my skin. And a little Instamatic. And of course the ocean that I learned to skin dive in at the ripe age of 3. And the most amazing papa, that set out to intentionally raise his daughter, alone. He was 23. I was 3. There was a roof rack which I rode on for hundreds of miles at the thrilling speed of 15 miles per hour because we couldn't travel any faster on those roads.
Really.
These are the things of my childhood.

1st Estuary outside Puerto Penasco, Sonora, Mexico, 1971
My very favorite part is the bandanna around my waist turning the too-big shirt into a dress.
Or maybe it's the little closet.
Or my dad's sunhat.
No wait... it's the fact that neither of us have shoes on. I don't think we wore shoes for a couple years.

Maybe I did grow up some in that van.

Sunday Snapshot (Misty-eyed}

2011-11-12T23:21:00.000-08:00

I've been a little misty-eyed these days.

Sunny getting ready to head out for good. She's so excited. So proud. Me too... but still misty eyed.

Patch left to hike the Grand Canyon this weekend, and my heart felt like he was going away for months. I made sure he had sunblock and Chapstick before he went out the door. And Tiger Milk bars in his pockets. That's what mamas do.

Waiting for this LOA seems to be taking an eternity. 66 days so far. Hoping, praying they'll say yes to this crazy family. Do they ever say no? And why is it taking so long? There are no answers.

Maybe it's the change of seasons and cooler weather. There's been lots of cloud cover these days and the almost ever-present Arizona sunshine is gone.

Or maybe it's the recent stream of music on my iPod, like here. Kind of melancholy and saying the things I'm feeling.

Not sure what it is, but I see my life changing, my brood getting older, a little more grey and a few more wrinkles. Praying for the wisdom that they say accompanies such changes.

Hoping I didn't scar any of them permanently.
Hoping they won't go too far and will come back to the nest now and then.
Not sure what I did to deserve the richness of the blessings I've been given.
Falling short, but still trying hard to earn it.

PS-These photos have little to do with this post. Kinda.
Baby girl is just getting older.
When the flip did that happen?
I wasn't looking, and it just seemed to happened.
Someone make it stop!

Patch and the flutterbies

2011-11-11T07:32:00.000-08:00

The state fair comes late in the season in Arizona. And it's a good thing too since it was hotter than Hades compliments of an Indian summer.

So to start the fair off, just a tease of a few pictures of Patch on being Patch in the butterfly pavilion...

I think they were naturally drawn to his red shirt.

The butterfly pavilion was a favorite with the whole family.

And Tess kept calling them flutterbies

or futterbies

or bufferfies

or bunnerties

or tuffiefies

or fitterties

or lutterfies

or bootieflies

or cutiepies

or bugs

which of course made her even more endearing!

The rest of the AZ state fair next.

In honor of National Adoption month...

2011-11-10T07:51:00.000-08:00

...this is from our agency.
This video is current and just released.
Each of these children is currently without a family... and waiting...

#56 - 68

2011-11-08T10:33:00.000-08:00

For those of you looking for our LOA announcement:
There is no LOA. Sadly, it looks like we have a long wait in front of us. Our dossier is stuck in translation, the very first step, longer than it should be. There has been absolutely no progress since Sept. 7th. Our agency is looking into it, and it's truly wonderful that they are being proactive on our behalf. But in the end, it doesn't get our LOA here any faster. As much as we were hoping for LOA sometime in November, and praying for Thanksgiving, it looks like it will be closer to Xmas... at the very very earliest. I have a very good albeit new friend, Lisa, who is waiting with us. Her daughter, Renee, is in the same orphanage, and they have the same SN and PA as us. We are trying to carry each other through the passing days. But the days seem to get longer... our daughters getting older, without a family of their own. And the end seems to be quite far away.
I just pray someone is loving on her, the way I long to be doing.
......................................................................................................................

Day #62 waiting for LOA. Averages are growing and are now up to 97 days. Ouch. So we probably still have a longer while to wait to be united with our new daughter... half way across the world.

In the mean time... in order to connect my soul a bit more to hers... so far away... "Operation Squish" continues.

From Uncle T, Auntie S, and my niece and nephews. They picked sweet and soft girly fabrics for our Mazie.

And how sweet are these wishes, each written by the kiddos and has a bible verse of their choosing. These will surely be treasured. Cousins are the bestest! Luv the multi colored markers!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

This is from probably my most long-term blog follower, over at Delilah's Coming Home. We cyber-met in 2008, and have been down this adoption road first in VietNam and now China, and shed many tears with each other on the phone and over emails. She'll never see this post. She's in China right this very minute getting her daughter. Her first child. I'm so so happy for her. After years or being on this journey, she's finally a mama just yesterday!

Aren't the fabrics just so bright and wonderful!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Did you see this one? It's embroidered! And even has the symbol for Ling on it! Mazie is a Ling girl, meaning she's from an orphanage that gives the same last name to all it's children, Ling. Amazingly, I've found 2 of Mazie's foster sisters. This wish was made by Heather. Her daughter is Elspeth, who has been home since August and lives in Canada. And Natalie is in her mama's arms as of 3 days ago!!!

This wish is also so so special! More than the wish, it's a connection to Mazie's family before she came to us. What a treasure!

Can't wait to share with you the other thing Heather sent me!!!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I mean people are so so awesome and generous! This one is from Merrill of Momma G and the Cat Make 3. She got her group of "choir moms of St. Peter's" together, and they each signed and forwarded this wish so Mazie would always have a "song in her heart." It's just perfect!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

These last two are from Boo and me. I'm not sure what is protocol for contributing our own wishes in the 100 good-wishes quilt. But I decided if it were me, I'd really want them on there. And Boo's message is so sweet, especially the part where he wrote, "I will be a good brother." sniff... sniff...

And I'm not sure how this fabric really represents me, but I fell in love with it and the little birds. I seem to be drawn to anything orange these days. It's pretty simple. But if I had this from my mother, I would treasure it.

70 down. 30 to go!

Please click on the "100 Good Wishes" square on the right if you'd like to participate in welcoming our new baby girl home!

starfish flingers

2011-11-07T07:17:00.000-08:00

(Originally posted June 23, 2010)

"Starfishflinger" left me a comment the other day. I instantly remembered the story of the starfish flinger. Just those 2 words touch my heart.

If you're not familiar with the story of the starfish flinger, here it is below, and just maybe it will mark your soul as it did mine. If you've heard this diddy before, then I hope it will leave you with a warm reminder.

The Starfish Flinger
As the old man walked the beach at dawn, he noticed a young man picking up starfish and flinging them into the sea. Catching up to the youth, he asked why he was doing this. The answer was that the stranded starfish would die if left until the morning sun. "But the beach goes on for miles and there are millions of starfish," countered the other. "How can your effort make any difference?" The young man looked at the starfish in his hand and threw it to safety in the waves. "It makes a difference to this one," he said. -Author Unknown

I wanna be a starfish flinger.
In my idealistic world, each of us finds our way to be a starfish flinger. Work with the elderly, generate funds for charity, be a big brother, adopt, speak with a kind nonjudgmental heart, plant a church, rock babies, help a teen get to college, sponsor a child... and each of us making it part of our life.

You know by now that special-needs adoption is a topic near and dear to my heart. These children are my starfish, my blessings. I know 1 adoption won't alter the course of the 150 million children that are orphans. Adoption of a child {or 2 or 3 or 4} won't change the world. And I don't want to save the world mostly 'cause I know I can't. But through adoption the world will change for one child. We want(ed) to be a part of that.

PS - The pic is of a little, ragged, almost loved-to-death, gift Tess & Jude presented me. Surely plucked from somebody's garden. I'm sorry neighbors. Oh the treasures of the starfish! I am blessed.

Viral bacon & eggs

2011-11-05T11:24:00.000-07:00

This page on my blog has gone a wee bit viral with the Pinterest crowd.

Speaking of Pinterest... did I really need another time-sucking vortex?
It's so stinking addicting. Do NOT go there.
Do NOT eat your first Kristy Kreme doughnut either!
My laundry is so not doing itself and that is a huge problem! Especially since we are all running out of clean underwear. On the other hand, I am finding a lot of cute hair styles that I'm going to try though.
And the perfect mud room for my dream house!
That's worth something... right?

Back from the bunny trail, it's getting about 2,000 hits a day. I'm not sure if technically that's viral, but it sure is a lot to me! It has been over a week now, and I thought it would die off, but no. It's still cranking right along with lots and lots of hits. I am not telling my niece. She really doesn't even like to have her picture taken, much less 60 thousand folks a month seeing her with first-thing-in-the-morning hair.
If you see her, don't mention it.
And tell her her hair looks cute... 'cause it really always does.
She's growing into a gorgeous young woman!

And if you haven't tried the bacon & eggs, yet, they really are easy peasy and amazingly tasty!

PS- I'm not really here either. I'm still in Vegas with Mr. McPapaDreamy and scheduled this to post.

I'm likely sleeping in till noon. And drooling on the pillow a bit.

Or eating in bed.

Or taking an obscenely long shower with massive amounts of conditioner and tossing the towel on the floor.

Or not doing laundry, dishes, errands, phone calls, PTO meetings, cooking of any type, reviewing homework, making breakfast, wiping up a bloody nose, cleaning crayon off the wall, sweeping, correcting poor table manners, mopping, or flossing.

Not exactly what the commercial had in mind, but still my idea of crazy ridiculous!

"She's very sparkly. Definitely very sparkly." Raymond Babbit

2011-11-04T08:15:00.000-07:00

Guess where I'm going?
I mean... guess where we're going?
I mean... guess where we're going sans children?

No... go ahead and guess. I'll wait.

No, it's not the Casbah in Morocco. Been there! And it was amazing!

No, it's not The Summer Palace in Beijing! I have not been there, but we're planning a visit there this spring hopefully heavily laden in cherry blossoms!

After so many years that I've totally lost count (but I know it's at least 4 years) and since before the arrival of Tess and Jude, Papa and I are leaving town (briefly) for a little get away to...

The thing is, it doesn't matter where we are going!
Papa and I are going alone!

to...

Las Vegas baby!

It's gonna be wild!
We're gonna go crazy, baby!
I'm so going to sleep in!
I'm gonna lay in bed and may never get out!
I'm gonna go totally crazy and order room service!

We'd better do this, especially before Mazie comes, or we lose the chance.
Be back in a few days!

Adoption terminology

2011-11-01T07:28:00.000-07:00

November is national adoption month. The blog will probably be heavy on adoption posts this months, and I think I'll even be digging out some old adoption posts for some re-runs.

This post is both new and old. It's been sitting in the que waiting to be posted since July! I finally have a pic of Uncle T to post with it.

So Papa and his brother, Uncle T are alike in many ways. They have the same mama, papa, and sister, and grew up in the same home. They both enjoy golf. They both have large families and live in the desert, in the same city. Both loves shoes so much that it's kinda weird. Both have 3 sons. And both are very social men who can usually charm their way into (or out of) any situation.
And as God creates all men (and brothers) unique, they are different in many ways too. They attended and graduated from different high schools in different states. Growing up, Papa was active in his church youth group, and Uncle T enjoyed bull riding. Papa was first born, and Uncle T was second. Papa is in his 40's. Uncle T is in his 30's. Papa has 3 daughters where as Uncle T has 1. Papa is 6'3". Uncle T is 5'8".

Papa and Uncle T were playing golf last week. As happens with golfers, they ended up at the 19 hole. (That's golf lingo for the bar. Someone had to explain this term to this rural girl once. I was embarrassingly looking all over for the 19th fairway for years!) A old family friend saw Papa and Uncle T and came over to say hi. She, this family friend, has known the family since Papa and Uncle T were young boys themselves. They used the opportunity to catch up. How was the family? Please say hello to your mom for me. How old are the children now?

Maybe she was curious about adoption, or maybe she was just being polite and making small talk, but she asked Papa about Tess & Jude. Uncle T listened from a bar stool away.
How are Tess and Jude doing?
Are they still adjusting well? Folks are curious. That's ok.
Yes, they're doing very well, Papa says. They have been home with us for almost 3 years now. They will be 4 years old soon!
She inquired, Are Tess and Jude good children?
Proudly Papa answers, Yes.
She still doesn't have the information she's looking for. I mean, are they well behaved?
As often happens, curious folks want to ask you something about adoption or adoptees, but they don't have the proper lingo. You can see it in their eyes and contorting face, searching for the right words in their head. Trying to balance being PC with satisfying their own curiosity. In the process, both words and thoughts can get jumbled.
Papa replies, Yes, they are good children, but they are toddlers and have their fare share of tantrums of course.
But still she asks again... the question she had originally tried to ask but this time clarified... Your children have always been really well behaved. I mean are they as well behaved as your own children?

Papa heard it immediately. Felt it within his soul as soon as she uttered the words. ...your own children. Were Tess and Jude as well behaved as his own children? Inferring of course that Tess and Jude were not his own. Not of him. Less than his. Less important? Less connected? Tess and Jude were the adopted ones in contrast to his bio children. The other ones... not his own with perhaps a more temporary and less meaningful relationship?

Now it was Papa's turn for his thoughts to fumble around, searching for the right words.

Uncle T, who was listening all along, wonderful insightful, God-sent at the perfect time, Uncle T, offered his wisdom to the conversation... with a bit of force so that this dear family friend would understand her error. They are his!
Did I mention how my love for Uncle T grew 10 fold in just those 3 words?

In hind sight, I haven't a clue if folks outside the adoption arena would notice her huge blunder. Or understand the profound implications of such a statement. My T&J, almost 4 years old are eventually going to {soon?} get to a point where they will over hear these comments and feel their weight. They will know that parts of our society sets them distinctly apart and different and separate from our biological children. Implying that they have less of a connection to their mother and father and their family. That they are less than a whole son or daughter and that their relationships are less important/connected/valuable/significant/whole/meaningful than the children who came from my womb.

You see, Tess and Jude weren't the only ones she was talking about in that moment. Both Papa and Uncle T were adopted as well, and her words, although directed about Tess and Jude, had profound implications to Papa's and Uncle T's souls too. Implying the same thing about their relationships and their worthiness. Thankfully, instead of digesting such words, these adoptees {now grown to confident men who never actually refer to themselves as adopted becuase they've kinda forgotten, and it's horribly insignificant almost all the time} used the opportunity to correct and educate. Uncle T did it in 3 short words. They are his.

So I know it's just a little vocabulary, and perhaps I'm touchy about folks being respectful and knowing and using the proper adoption related terminology. But to us and our children, this is big stuff. Big stuff that carries weight inside our hearts for a life time. Stuff that can determine how children that were adopted, my children, will feel inside about who they are and the value they carry.

Most folks are just curious and mean no harm. But that doesn't mean hurtful remarks like these are appropriate. For the sake of our children and our families, we must educate our community about the proper adoption terms. Implore folks to select their words carefully and even guide them when speaking.

Uncle T watching his own son open presents on his 2nd birthday.
I love this image and that little smile. It oozes "man happy!"

preschool Halloween

2011-10-31T20:02:00.000-07:00

Tess and her teacher carve a pumpkin on Halloween Day.
There are only 3 children in her class and 4 adults! Awesome ratio!

The preschool "parade." Holding his papa's hand, makes Jude very very happy.

Jude was a little freaked out by trick-o-treating. He came home early and dined on candy candy candy till I was positive his gills would turn green... but they didn't.

Tess would not take off her very hot costume all. day. long. And seeing as how it was 85 degrees that day, her entire body was soaked with sweat most all day.

Instead of saying trick-or-treat at each home, Tess "roared" at each person as they answered the door. She was they scariest skunk on the block. She consoled Jude at each house when he was scared, patting him on the back saying It's OK, Dude.

I consumed a ~~some~~ too many Baby Ruth's after everyone went to bed.

Does sugar make you child hyper?

2011-10-30T08:21:00.000-07:00

I'm going to say something that may cause some shock.
Some horror.
Something that is contrary to all the motherly advice I've peen programmed to believe without question for a decades now.
Something that my own grandmother probably would have fought me to the death about.
And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get kicked out of the Mom's Club for it.

Here it goes...
I don't think sugar makes children hyper.
I think it's all in the mind of parents that kiddos get crazy hyper after eating sweets.

And... here's the shocker... I have science on my side. Like here and here.

There's a TON of sugar coming in to our house this weekend and on Monday evening. Literally it might be close to a ton! OK, not quite, but we have 4 trick-o-treaters that will be bringing their treat bags home no doubt heavily laden with candy and sweets.

I used to get really really stressed out by Halloween candy. And I mean really super-duper stressed! I didn't know what tact to take.
Let them eat it?
Exchange it for a special toy?
Ration it out over the next 16 months?
Throw it all away? (I did that one year purely out of frustration. It wasn't one of my finer moments.)
Among mama's, it's a polarizing subject!

Over time, I have decided that our children can eat absolutely as much candy as they want Halloween night. It's quite disgusting actually. Each year I'm sure ~~I'll~~ they'll turn green and get sick, but I they never do. And after the carnage of Halloween night, we put all the candy up and resort to our old house rules re sweets. A few weeks later, when all the favorites have been consumed, I throw away what's left of the Halloween candy. I'm not sure it's the best tact to take, but it works for us, and most importantly I don't feel wacked-out about the whole candy thing.

Don't get me wrong, I don't like sugar in my children's diet. They're empty calories that cause cavities! And the caffeine that comes in chocolate and soda absolutely can give children extra energy. And I do religiously monitor caffeine intake at our house. But I don't think sugar is inherently bad.

So... bring on the candy! I personally will be eyeballing the Baby Ruth's! At least for 1 night that is.

As a mama, what's your plan for all that candy that will be coming home Monday night?

Going Home

2011-10-29T14:44:00.000-07:00

Still waiting for our LOA. We are on day #52 today. I'm still in a good place waiting, but occasionally I can feel the stress and worry seeping in. I keep thinking of ways to take my mind off it.

Liv, Jude, and I traveled back to the small town and home I grew up in. It's only about an hour and a half north. What is it about going home? It melts me right back in time, to a time when all was right with the world. The ceilings seems a bit lower and the rooms a bit smaller. But the feelings when I drive into town, and when I step in the door are all the same. So easy to exhale and savor every little thing.

First we stop at the rest area, a pit stop I've been at no less that 17, 508 times.

And the view still is amazing.

Then up the mountian, out of the desert, and home.

There's an apple tree in the front yard. Yes, it was a perfect childhood.

And my mom and I went down town for lunch, then icecream at the town square.

Then back home for some plain ol' fun on the swing set.

Going home, even just for the day, rejuvenates me for a long while.

Bliss I tell you.

Pure bliss.

If Martha Made Halloween Cookies...

2011-10-26T07:07:00.000-07:00

...they'd never look like this!

Surely Martha Stewart would just die right here and now if she saw these.

I guess there are more important things than pretty and well done.

Like lots and lots of frosting.

And sprinkles.

# 41 - 55

2011-10-25T06:59:00.000-07:00

From Mazie's auntie, uncle and 2 nephews! What blessings to have such a family to come home to! We are so lucky! And I LOVE this fabric! It's so pretty. Auntie K, I think I need some throw pillow out of this!

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These two squares are from a dear bloggie friend, and mama of 4 over at Scooping It Up. She is amazing and a constant source of inspiration, a testament that the good Lord will provide all we need in due course. The little piggie fabric is one her oldest, 5 years old, picked out. Yep, you read that right, her oldest of 4 children is 5 years old! The pink square has some beautiful embellishment on it. Wonderful additions for our Miss Mazie!

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These are from my one of my best friends in the whole world and her mom, who knew me way back when leg warmers and shoulder pads were new. Who I learned to drive with. Who I met when we were 12 years old. I love these fabrics! I love you, M, and am so so happy that this love will be represented in the quilt. I'm blessed to have you in my life and a better woman because of it.

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And these are from a very special family over at Our Treasure in China. First, don't miss the froggie fabric, which stands for "Fully Rely On God." And the John Deer fabric is so cute! In pink no less!

There is one more... the print of the polka dot fabric is very symbolic. This family is adopting a special little girl also in China named Hope. Hope was born with "polka dots" (or nevus) on her skin, and her new family is completely unphased by her special skin. Their son was born with the same condition. There were quite a few God moments that had to happen to unite this family so far. And God is still moving mountains to bring them together, hopefully sometime in the spring or summer of 2012, we'll be able to see this gorgeous baby girl in her mama's arms. Their story is truly inspirational!

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And look at these wonderful fabrics from a family all the way in Florida! Aren't the flamingos the cutest!!! The colors are wonderful, even though you can't really see the solid navy one on my black counters. These will make a wonderful additions to the quilt! Thank you so so much!

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This one is from a young lady who will represent Mazie's new Vietnamese family ties. Thank you so very much, H! I hope my love for China will grow just as big as it has for VietNam and the Vietnamese people. The little hearts are just perfect to represent this! She writes, "wishing you smiles..." Oh my, that's so much what I want from our Mazie too, days and days of smiles!

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I've been blown away by the generosity and grace we've received. This squish will forever remain one of my most treasured! It is from one of my students way back when I was teaching 5th grade. She follows my blog, and I am honored to follow hers. She has 2 gorgeous children of her own now and has blossomed in to the more incredible woman. Her writing in her wish brought me to tears. You are an amazing woman, P. I am blessed to see how you've grown into a woman, wife, and mother. She writes that she chose this fabric with leaves because, "leaves grow and change, leaves that come back after a hard winter." {Maternal sigh.}

You know... I think I just may be able to get to 100! Click on the 100 good wishes count down on the right if you'd like to participate!

What not to wear

2011-10-24T08:18:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned the hoarding tendencies Tess has. They're definitely still there. They carry over to her clothing.

You see we were at my nephew's birthday party just a short while before this. Tess had cute little piggies in her hair, and that green dress underneath is really adorable! It has little yellow and white flowers on the shoulder straps. And there were little black mary janes. Not that you'd ever know it.

As soon as we got home, as often happens, she started to put more on. More jackets. More hats. More socks. More clothing in general. I took pants off of her 2 times before giving up the battle.

You see, it was 96 degrees out this day.

It was hot. Real hot! But this girl is firm in her resolution that a jacket with furry liner and hood is a must! Regardless of climate. And all jackets that have hoods must, at all costs, be worn on the head at all times!

I guess the piggies were in the way of the hood. They obviously had to be sacrificed.

Oh my silly adorable bag lady, trucker, hoarder, intervention needing, Gap & FAO Schwarz endorsing, little girl!

Halloween faves

2011-10-21T06:23:00.000-07:00

Being a teacher in a former life and almost 18 years of parenting under my belt, I've had a long time to amass a large collection of children's books.

This year I pulled out several books that were appropriate for Halloween and used them for fun and easy Halloween decorations. Maybe it's the school teacher in me, but I think they look pretty good on my fireplace mantle. Tess and Jude are drawn to them every day. And Boo and sometimes Sunny likes to pick one out and read them to T&J at bedtime sometimes. Anything that encourages reading is good in my book!

If you're looking for a fun Halloween surprise for your kiddos or an alternative to candy, I'll recommend any of these. I'm a HUGE fan of Amazon's used books. I don't mind paying $4 shipping if the book is only a couple dollars to begin with. And new books just get old really fast! I've included links if y'all are interested. Not that Amazon has any idea who I am.

Guess What? by Mem Fox
This is quickly becoming T&J's favorite. Readers get to try to guess if the lady is a which on each page. My little ones weren't sure about it at first, and Jude had big ol' saucer eyes as we read through it the first time, to see if she really was a witch. But the end is great, and now they are starting to ask for it more and more. They love the part where they get to guess on each page. And Goodman's illustrations are wonderful and creative! If I were only getting one book for Halloween, this would be it. (Or maybe The Spider and the Fly... depending on the age of the kiddos.)

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Halloween, by Jerry Seinfeld
This is probably the most requested Halloween book in our house. And I'm sure that's because the whole book is about candy! Jerry Seinfeld has a whole stand-up routine that this book was developed from. There's no way that any of my younger children get the references to 70's and 80's childhood, and that's specifically why I love it! Anyone else had a mom who made you wear a coat over their costume? Takes me right back to my childhood, and it's so funny! But I'm not sure my kids actually understand why I'm laughing.

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The Spider and the Fly
The illustrations in this book are A.MAZ.ING! The content is a bit scary. So if you have a sensitive little one, pre-read before you read to your kiddo to see if its appropriate. I won't read this one as bed time story. Spoiler... the spider EATS the fly! Of course the spider lures her into his web and binds her up first like spiders do. This can be understandably upsetting since the fly is really sweet and cute, complete with a parasol! That in turn makes that boys really like this book for obvious reasons! This is the original 1829 poem by Mary Howitt's. I adore the vocabulary, and it a fabulous way to introduce old literature to children. It's a Caldecott winner and one of my very favorite picture books!

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The Wolves in the Walls by Neil Gaiman
Again, a little creepy and kinda scary! This one is a bit too long for Tess to sit through. But Boo really likes this book. It is so creative and again, the illustrations are really good. This book really isn't a Halloween story, and neither is the one above about the spider and the fly. But it's kinda creepy and has a scary element, so I think it's a good addition to our Halloween books. And yes, there really are wolves in the walls!

Anyone have any suggestions for Thanksgiving books? I could really use some ideas. I don't think I have a single child's book for Thanksgiving, and I'm really liking this fireplace mantle decorating idea. I might just keep it going for a while, rotating the books as the holidays change. Any suggestions for the next holiday?

homework

2011-10-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

It appears that certain crazy 8, who shall remain nameless, has been having a tough time. It seems that this certain young person, has failed to learn certain important and necessary academic skills... skills that carry over and lead to a successful life! Stuff about homework. And heavy parental intervention is required.
Stuff like turning in his/her homework.
Or perhaps, even knowing what the homework is.
Or where the homework is.
Or where the pencil to complete the homework is.
Or not being able to find a pencil sharpener.
Or sitting one's bum down at one's desk to do said homework.
Or noticing that a teacher hadn't posted the assigned homework to his/her website and that ~~might~~ ~~probably~~ for sure means that he didn't want the homework completed. I think not!
Or forgetting the homework at school.
Or only completing part of his/her homework and getting distracted by the swimming pool... or the football... or the dust particles in the air... or breathing.
Or leaving his/her backpack, complete with homework, at school... or at home... or in the swimming pool.
Or lying about the completion of that aforementioned homework.
Or thinking that "studying" couldn't possibly be considered homework.
Or thinking that the teacher only meant to assign "the evens" of homework since they did that one time last year on the 3rd Thursday of February.
Or thinking that homework has a 30 minute time limit.
Or wrongly deciding that weekends mean that one should never ever mention or even think about homework.
Or deciding that doing some, rather than all, of one's homework was certainly good enough.

And now that this certain nameless individual is in middle school, no longer a little child, the crazy mama thinks Mr. No-Homework should know better by now. She thinks, that if he/she chooses to redefine these homework expectations this young person should also be prepared to live with the consequences. Which in our home means if you aren't doing your best in school, you get grounded till your grades reflect that you are. We've laid years of foundation and now is the time to watch my baby birds spread their wings and fly... or not. You dug the hole, you should get yourself out of it! After all, I'd sat through at least 8 middle-school parent orientation meetings so far in my lifetime, and heard teacher after teacher say that this is the time to wean my kiddos off of parental homework assistance. You know... let them suffer the consequences, and they'll learn! Right?

Well... here's the problem with this parenting strategy for this particular kiddo. Mr. I'm-just-not-gonna-do-all-my-homework-for-a-large-variety-of-reasons, was grounded the vast majority of the school year last year. So frequently that I'm really embarrassed to tell you how much. No friends after school or on weekends. No sleepovers. No cell phone. No video games. No parties. No play dates. And at a stage when kiddos are learning about a social world and their place in it, it was really a sad reality. I was relieved when summer came, and he/she finally got to have some serious playtime. Then school started and the crazy mama once again found herself shocked that only a week into school and said young person was up to old tricks. Admittingly, sometimes the crazy mama isn't the sharpest light bulb in the crayon box.

So aforementioned young person was grounded again.
{Oh God, we just can't do this again! We can not take another year like the last! Please help me know when to get help and where to go for it! Amen.}

I know enough to know when I'm whipped. When advice is needed. Some serious counseling was in order, and not for Mr. No-homework, but for me! Going in I expressed feeling like I only had two options,
1) let him/her live with the consequences of the choices, which obviously wasn't working.
or
2) spoon feed him/her like a baby.
Going in, I didn't feel like either of these was a good solution.

So let's fast forward to the Reader's Digest condensed version of crazy Mama therapy...
here's what I re-learned... some kiddos just don't get it. They don't get it when everyone else does. (whatever their "it" is. Maybe your child's "it" is being home by curfew. Or potty training. Or sleeping through the night. Or lying. Or keeping their room tidy. Or stuffing old sandwiches under the bed until it is a baggie of green goo. Or table manners... ) Sometimes learning "it" takes longer than everyone else. "It" just takes longer to get figured out and embedded into the brain. Heck, even as adults some people don't get "it."

But here's the big part... as a mama, I have a responsibility to continue to teach my sweetie till he does get it. Even if it's past the norm. And even if it's LONG past the time I thought we'd be done training this aspect of character. Maybe that means I have to go over every scrap of homework to be sure it's all there, daily. you mean every single day? Ya I do! I'd rather not, but maybe this simply is what needs to be done. Maybe this means I'm still gonna have to spoon feed the homework schedule, and studying habits, and organizing his backpack regularly, and staying in weekly contact with teachers through the end of high school. Is this where I thought my kiddo would be developmentally right now? No. But it is what it is.

And what's the alternative? An adult that doesn't have necessary skills? Heck, I share the road with those folks, and it's no fun!

With in a few days, mostly because the school year was so new, the kiddo was able to get "un-grounded."

Within a few days of that... he/she was grounded again.

{parental sigh}

And then again.

And again.

We're just going to keep plugging at it.

# 29 - 40

2011-10-18T07:44:00.000-07:00

This one represents Mazie's new Irish roots! This squish came the farthest thus far, from Ireland! From my friend, B, all the way across the pond! I'm going to show her the Grand Canyon some day. And she's going to be my guide to castles, peat bogs, and the Emerald Isle!

Thank you so so much, B!

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All the way from Maryland! With the cutest wish and adorable fabric! I'm so so glad we got some lady bugs! Just perfect!

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From another large family! And my new best friends as they sent 9 squares!!!! Oh thank you so so much! Love the bright colors! Please come over to dinner some night! The kiddos will get along fabulously, and I'll cook!

And a little wish from her son, who is 6! Oh be still my heart! This one made me cry! Thank you, C! Tell your mama we're dropping by your house for dinner instead! Thank you so much for the invite!

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I fell in LOVE with this retro fabric! Reminds me so much of our avocado green and harvest gold bathroom we had when I was growing up. Can I get an amen? And the wish is so treasured. Thank you for putting in words what we feel for our treasured China daughter already!

I can't believe that we're half way to collecting 100 wishes!!!! I still have several family members who are forwarding some too. I think I can! I think I can! Oh I can't wait to wrap this sweet treasured beloved daughter of ours in such love.

Today is day #41 waiting for our LOA (the official approval from China gov't to adopt Mazie.) The range of time to receive an LOA is anywhere from 35-145 days with the average being about 90. Twiddling thumbs patiently... not.

Would you like to contribute? Please! Check out the details here.

More CPS fodder

2011-10-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

When Papa asked me if I wanted to look for a new outfit, it wasn't like I could turn him down! It was early evening, pre-dinner, and sure the babes hadn't had naps that day, but how often does my sweet hubby volunteer to take me shopping and get me a new outfit! I mean after all, we were out already! What was another 30 minutes, right? We have an upcoming cocktail party in Las Vegas after all! (That's a whole 'nother post!) And a momentous event like getting away with your hubby sans children requires that a girl get a new dress... right? I needed a new dress to hobnob with business associates, right? Turning him down would be wrong... right?

Tess was happy... for that moment, but as she often is when she's tired she was wired! She dashed under the clothing racks. Ran around the store playing "you can't find me!" and running into customers. I was trying hard to maintain my composure. On the outside, I was, Tessy, come here! Follow Mama's directions please! On the inside it was, For the LOVE of DEAR GOD! Find me a dress and get us out of here!
Papa sat on the man-couch and entertained Jude with his cell phone. I was thankful only 1 of our four year olds was totally out of control, and hoped the patrons would appreciate the obstacles of shopping with 2 toddlers in tow.

Where were the dresses? I look so good in red and turquoise! Why are fall colors so blah!

Then Tess found the jewelry. It started to scatter. I got on her level, eye to eye. Good parenting I remind myself. Tess, you have to hold mama's hand. Don't touch anything. All the while she pulls from me, and stretches her Gumby body closer to the necklaces. I stood up. I held my ground. I held her hand tightly. I scanned the store for anything that said, sparkly Vegas!

Suddenly tears. Surprisingly Tess's, not mine. She looked at me, a new emotion came over her. Mama hurt Tess's arm. Quiet at first. Then escalated to screeching for ALL to hear. Mama pulled Tess's arm! Tessy sad! Tessy have tears!

Yes, I found a dress, as fast as I could after that. I wasn't leaving that store without one! Not the sparkly red one I had hoped to find. But a more simple black cocktail dress that I'll doctor up with some shiny jewelry. Papa paid as I took the little ones to the car and pulled it around.

That night, Tess waffled between sad and happy. Upset when we tried to examine her arm, specifically her elbow. But surprisingly happy to play and bounce around the house. As long as her arm didn't move. She held it close to her side, barely bent. And although she's right-handed, she wouldn't use it at all.
We had our neighbor, who is a nurse give it the once over at about 8pm. The first thing Tess told our neighbor was Mama broke my arm. She said that repeatedly that night. Thanks Tess. Mam guilt will take you everywhere. Her circulation was good. Nothing discolored or swollen. Nothing was obviously wrong except for the fact that Tess wouldn't move her elbow or hand. We decided to let her sleep on it and see what the morning brought.

It was tough for Tess to sleep. She puts her the finger on her right hand in her mouth to sleep and couldn't. And sucking on the fingers on her left hand was an absurd suggestion. So I don't know if it was pain in her arm or not being able to suck on her fingers that kept her from sleeping well last night.

The morning brought the exact same scenario. No change so I started calling the pediatrician at 7:30 am. They didn't open till 8, and the first appointment they could take us was 12:45pm. Really? I mentioned that it her arm might be broken. She bumped us up to an 11:30am appointment. Really? That's as soon as you can squeeze her in? Not much you can do about that. I kept Tess home from school, and she was irritable all morning but still ran about and played and rode her bike.

Then I made a dreadful mistake at about 10:30am. I told her where we were going. Tess, we're going to the doctor's office, and she's going to look at your arm and make it feel all better! {hopefully} I mean that's good parenting, right? You don't want to surprise them with it! Why is most parenting everything bass ackwards with Tess?! No need to answer that one. Hypothtical of course. I know full well why.

The screeching started. No! she wailed. You stupid! I stay home! She kicked me as I tried to put her shoes on. Getting her to go potty was useless. I was feeling fortunate she only had 3 limbs to flail at me. She used them all as I tried to get her to the car and buckle her car seat. Screaming You stupid! the whole time. It was her go to phrase. In the parking lot, trying to get her out of her car seat, a nice lady asked if I needed help. Help with my screaming child. I explained she wasn't feeling well, and we were on our way to the doctor right now. I carried Tess in. Poor Jude in tow his eyes big and round as he took it all in. Tessy's arm doesn't feel good? He asked. He was worried about her too.

We walked in, and Tess instantly screamed at the top of her lung at the receptionist, You stupid! You stupid! I go home NOW! As I checked in Tess took off her shoes and threw them across the waiting room. I go home!

The nurse took us back. You stupid. You stupid. You stupid! was repeated many times to both me and the nurse. It was loud and telling the nurse what had happened above Tess's yelling was a chore. The doc saw us pretty quickly and again was repeatedly told how stupid she was. Can I look at your arm?
The decibel level increased. NO! You go away! You stupid doctor! Tess tried to kick her. I sat her in my lap, facing me. Attachment 101 still.
Would you like to play on my cell phone.
NOOOOOO!
Would you like a lollipop? Tess quieted monetarily. Thank you God, for Dum Dums! You can have one after the doctor looks at your arm.
Tess very gently extended her elbow a bit for the doc to look at. The doctor took her hand in hers and started to examine in. The screeching started again. 10 seconds and it was over. Palm side up, arm out stretched, the doctor bent Tess's elbow to her body. Her dislocated elbow was popped back into place. Instantly Tess stopped crying and started to smile. Tess looked at her own elbow. My arm better! Tess looked at her arm almost in amazement. She looked at the doctor and loudly proclaimed, YOU WIN!

That's all it took. Tess got down off the examination table and went over to our doctor. She patted the doctor's on the knee. Doctor fix my arm! You win! she said again.
She must have said a dozen times between the car and home, My doctor fix my arm!

Tess will unsolicited tell you two things. 1) Mama broke my arm, and 2) My doctor fix my arm!
That's all I got. Just a little more CPS fodder. I/she pulled it enough that her elbow came out of it's socket. Yipee! Great solid parenting there! Don't tell anyone or they may change their mind about letting us have another one! Oh well. She's better now. She is so so so happy that her arm feels better and smiling up a huge grin!

Ode to summer

2011-10-16T08:15:00.000-07:00

Oh sweet summer

I miss you so!

I miss your lack of busy ringing phone calls and text messages asking me to do more.

I miss your empty calendar with no doctor appointments or PTO meetings.

I miss the book reports, science projects, teacher conferences, and research papers you do not require.

I miss the many walks we took and the bicycle rides we had.

I miss your long warm summer nights complete with games played on the porch and black and white movies.

I miss the cousins that you abundantly provide both the time and opportunity to play with.

I miss the many books you allowed me to read.

I miss the green you wrapped us with and the flowers that blossomed at every corner.

I miss your long lazy mornings when you allow us to wear our jammies till noon.

Oh sweet summer... I miss you so!

Before you...

2011-10-13T21:19:00.000-07:00

...I never read the same story book, every night... for months.

...I never looked forward to carrying a sleeping child from the car to her bed.
...I never used my own spit to clean someone else's cheek.
...I never knew that I had a magical power to heal an owie.

...I never knew that a green crayon in the dryer could do so much damage.
...I never took so much pleasure watching someone sleep.
...I never understood that spilt milk really wasn't a bad thing after all.
...I never hurt when someone else got a shot.
...I never had SO much fun singing I'm a Little Tea Pot.
...I never thought bronzed baby shoes were adorable and worth having.

...I never really liked teenagers as much as I do now.
...I never regularly feared for my life as a passenger in a car.
...I never understood the Lord's love for His own children.
...I never thought I was really capable of laying down my life for another person.

This child made me a mother. It's just a bit different from the others. It's special that way.

And now it's finally started... she's started the journey of leaving.
She's applying to two in-state universities this week. Stretching those wings we've groomed for nearly 18 years now, and testing them out.

I pray we've given her strong wings, firm roots, and a zest for life.
I pray we've shown her the love of the Lord. And the ability to see her own ordinary miracles all around her.

She's leaving soon.
Leaving.
Leaving me.
I'm not sure I'll be the same.

She'll come back, right?

If Martha made Vietnamese-- Miến Gà (Chicken cellophane noodle soup)

2011-10-12T08:25:00.000-07:00

Y'all know we love our phở dearly! It is Boo's favorite food in the whole world and a regular in our home. But I really wanted to try another Vietnamese soup recipe. Mix it up a bit! Cause you know we're crazy folks after all! So much research later, a combo of several recipes, some trial and error, and this is now another Vietnamese soup favorite. It's different from phở but still has the characteristic Vietnamese flavors. And it's much simpler to make. Fewer ingredients and it is so quick to whip up!
Ok... my disclaimer... as with all my Vietnamese recipes, yes, you're gonna have to make a trip to the Asian market. But most of these ingredients are things that you'll want to have in stock in your home anyway if your really wanting to learn how to cook Vietnamese or Asian cooking.

Miến translates to the type of noodles that are used in this soup. They are very skinny slippery semi-transparent noodles that are called cellophane, vermicelli, bean thread, glass, or thread noodles. Again, don't over cook or boil the noodles. Soak them in hot water, only about 10 min, till they are soft.

Gà translated to chicken. In a perfect world I'd have the time to cook and debone a whole fryer. But I don't have that kind of time and honestly deboning a whole chicken makes me oogy. So I opt to boneless skinless breasts. Or actually any leftover chicken from last night's dinner.

Notice that most of the garnishes are optional. As with many Vietnamese foods, it's all about the garnishes and I think that's part of the reason my kiddos love it so. They get to top off their food to their preferences. So be sure to have a few. But you don't have to have all of them. I wouldn't leave out the limes, chili slices, or cilantro.

One final note... I know the mushrooms are gonna throw many of you over the top. Be brave. Go look for them in the Asian market. It's a fun isle to peruse! And they are there in many varieties and brands. I know they look kinda "different" in comparison to our American foods. And the word "fungus" is can be scary to some. But please don't pass by this recipe just because of the mushrooms! I really don't think there is a substitute to this wonderful flavor and texture! Just soak them in hot water for about 15 minutes, then chop them up.

Miến Gà (Chicken cellophane noodle soup)

3 quarts of chicken stock (or water but add a bit of chicken bullion for some flavor)
1 whole chicken cooked, de-boned and shredded, or 3/4 lb boneless skinless chicken breasts and/or thighs - cooked and shredded
2 T fish sauce
1 T sugar
8 oz cellophane noodles - soaked in hot water and drained (also called glass noodles)
1/3 c dried wood ear mushrooms (soaked in warm water and cut into 1/4" wide strips- total 1/3 c after mushrooms are reconstituted and chopped)

Garnishes-
2-3 chilies (Thai, serrano, Jalapeno...) - thinly sliced (optional, but my recent favorite garnish. Don't eat it. Just let 1-2 slices soak in the bowl as you eat.)
1/2 c cilantro - roughly chopped
1 c bean sprouts (optional)
1/2 c green onions, spring onions, scallions (optional)
6 key limes (those are the little ones) sliced or 1 regular lime cut into wedges
Hoisin sauce (optional)
Siracha sauce (optional)
Black pepper

To water add, fish sauce, sugar and salt to taste. Add chicken, noodles, and mushrooms and return to boil. then remove from heat so noodles don't over cook.

Spoon into individual bowls and each person garnishes according to preference.

We eat this one with chop sticks in one hand and a spoon in the other. Slup away and enjoy!

#31

2011-10-11T14:16:00.000-07:00

Oh I just had to share the squish I got in the mail today!
I'm so lame. I started Mazie's good-wishes quilt and had no clue what a squish even was!
And for the new-to-China-adoption crowd, like me, a squish is a quilt square + wish = a squish.

This one, #31, is from bloggie friend, Annika, from Oregon.
It's just amazing!

It's probably about 20 pieces of fabric sewn together to make the heart and the border, with the little ribbon flowers along the bottom! And the wish is just as lovely! It has the embossed symbol for "life." And it also has the sweetest message for our baby girl and little samples to match the quilt square!

Isn't it delightful, delicious and delovely! Ok maybe not delicious, but definitely delightful and especially delovely! So much love went into this and I am so so thankful to receive it!

If you'd like to forward a squish, we'd be so so grateful! And it doesn't have to be near as fancy as Annika's! Plain ol' square and post-it wish is wonderful too! Details here.

Thank you, Annika! This squish is already so treasured and a wonderful addition to welcome our daughter into her forever family!

Thank you to all those who have forwarded squishes too! I am humbled by the love y'all are sharing!

31 down.
69 to go!

10 thoughts on a Monday

2011-10-10T14:55:00.000-07:00

1) Tess has loaded my computer with several coins. She's pretty sure that the slot that one should use for flash cards and CDs are designed just for her to deposit pennies in. She got pretty upset when I couldn't get them out for her and has since stopping using my laptop as her piggy bank. But the damage is done, and now they rattle around in there. I fear the worst it coming. I backed up the all my photos and other important docs last week. Aside from the damage I'm worried about, it's really kinda funny!

2) Day #33 of our LOA wait. Nesting is kinda happening but not really. Wondering if we'll hit the average 83 days wait (ouch) or go longer or shorter.

3) It's fall break this week, and I've spent a good portion of it cleaning out several of the kiddo's closets. See thought #2. And #4.

4) Lego's breed. Faster than rabbits and dust bunnies.

5) 5's are over rated.

6) I'm wondering if the cost of going to a pumpkin patch is justifiable. It's lots of fun and all, but for a large family it's some serious cash. And since when did an annual pumpkin patch visit become par? Bad mommy feeling guilty!

7) Patch has gone for the week to visit my parnets.

8) The weather here has FINALLY cooled down. A high of 85 degrees today. We can finally get out doors and plant tomatoes and enjoy the grass. We are entering the season where I will regularly post pictures of grass and flip flops and folks wearing shorts just for those who live in cold weather climates. In advance, I am sorry to do this. But it has to be this way.

9) My hubby, who works out of ~~his office~~, ~~our home~~, our bedroom, is considering getting "real" office space elsewhere. When the economy soured and he started to work out of our home out of necessity, him being here drove me nuts. He was so close, yet oh so far away to help me get down things down from a top shelf. Now I'm wondering how I could convince him to stay.

10) There is no 10. I've gotta get dinner started. Albondigas soup.

Garden Muncher

2011-10-06T21:39:00.000-07:00

Caution----Several of the following images have an oogy factor! Fair warning for those with a delicate constitution!

I knew someone was munching on my sweet basil and oregano. But finding the culprit was hard. Until I harvested half the plant to make pesto, and he showed up.

Jude (still nursing a good egg) was first scared... then fascinated!

Jude's eyelashes pretty much point straight down often creating a curtain-ish in front of his eyes.
I'm always captivated by them!

Can you see the dirt on his fingerprints? Pretty awesome!

Boys investigating bugs! Does it get any better?

10 down: 90 to go

2011-10-05T08:01:00.000-07:00

These are the first 2 squares that came in. And suddenly it felt like I was climbing a huge mountain. A Mount Everest made of quilt squares that many had attempted but few had succeeded!
These 2 squares are from Liv and her best friend that spent the night. They were kinda my prisoners and had to do what I told them to do so I would drive them to the mini-golf course that night. I'm serious, if you come over to my house, you are giving me a square, even if I have to cut it off you myself!

The details are here if you'd pretty please like to participate.

Seriously... the email wishes are fine too... better than fine, email wishes (or a commnet on this post) are wonderful! If you're a bloggie friend or follower, and can't do a quilt square, we'd be so appreciative if you'd email a wish our way for Mazie Jade!

Only 90 more to go... arg.

Chapter 4 - "Don't you have enough kids already?"

2011-10-04T07:51:00.000-07:00

That's a direct quote from one of the very first people I told we were adopting again.

It stung.

I've been mulling this post around in my head for a long while.

Children are a blessing.

All children are a blessing.

Children are blessings from the Lord.
The Lord has blessed us.

The Lord really abundantly blessed us once then again and again and again and again and again and again!

When I was a young girl, I wanted 12 children. I remember naming each one, starting with Sarah, my oldest, right on down to the twins, Jessica and Evan. (Funny I don't have any children now with those 12 names.) I remember wanting to adopt many of them even way back then. I remember making a little cardboard house that represented my dream home with its many many bedrooms. I remember showing my mom my the embodiment of my dream home made from dismantled cereal boxes and lots of Elmer's glue. And she said that perhaps when I got older, and perhaps when I had a couple children of my own, {and experienced the many trials and hard work of being a mom} and had a husband with opinions of his own, perhaps then I wouldn't want 12 children any more, and it was ok to change my dreams as I experienced life.

Land's sake, she was so smart even back then.
Such a sage valuable lesson, and of course she was right!
As I girl I remember clearly altering my dreams that very moment. Dreams can mature and change just as people do. She is such a wise woman. Perhaps having 12 children was just too much work and too many children for one family. That very day I changed my dream.
That day I decided that I only wanted 10 children.
My dream to have a large family hasn't changed since.

And some folks who I told my dream to had advice to give, lessons to teach me, and that she'll-feel-differently-when-she's-older look on their face.

Fast forward 20+ years.
Something happens when you tell folks you have (or want to have) a lot of children. What I can only feel should be joy for such blessings falls to a hush or wonderment. It can change to judgement. Now I'm not talking about the folks that are curious or genuinely want to know the why's. Sheeesh... that's kinda the point of this post! I'm talking about righteous judgement.

I guess this is where my mental wrestling match begins. My blessings, my precious wonderful blessings, can turn into other's judgement. Yes, I'm overly sensitive.

I hope you're not thinking that I'm advocating that everyone should have a large family. And I don't think that everyone should adopt. Far from it. This is simply the path we've chosen to our dreams. Having no children is perfect for many families and is what they are called to do. Many families have 1 or 2 or 3, and I'm sure that's perfect for them. And some families have more than the average 2.3 kiddos. And I think that's alright too. As a couple we've made financial sacrifices to have a large families. We've decided not to travel often and to postpone having newer cars longer than usual. Hand-me-downs are par. And I've become a whiz at feeding a large family on a budget. And even though the Lord has called all of us to care for the orphans, I don't think everyone should adopt children either. There are many ways to help orphan without adopting. I'm sorry if this next part sounds harsh, but I believe only some people have what it takes to parent and unconditionally love a child that another woman grew within her and gave birth to. And only some families are equipped to deal with the inherent challenges of raising a child that has been abandoned, orphaned, and institutionalized. Adoption is a blessing and life-transforming, but it's not for everyone.

We really wanted each and every one of our children. From the earliest age, I wanted a huge house full of them. If we couldn't adopt, we would've had more biological children. So why did we adopt, I was asked a couple days ago at lunch.
Because God called us to do it? Ya.
Because there's real inherent personal and spiritual growth to be had in sacrificing for one of God's children? Yes, there is.
Maybe it's because there's 147 million orphans out there with no mama or papa to call their own? Ya, that too.
But our answer is really is so much simpler than that.

So why did we adopt? And why are we doing it again?
It boils down to this...
Very simply this...

We really wanted another child.

Just that.

Simply.

And if you know our family, you know that how that child comes into the arms of this mama and papa is completely irrelevant to us.

Simply.

Sunday Snapshot {in the empty lot down the street}

2011-10-02T02:12:00.000-07:00

There's really nothing special about these images... except they seem to so capture just exactly where my little ones are right now.

The goose egg.

The wispy fly-away hairs in her face.

Her emotions that change on a dime.

The 6-12 mo. clothes that I put on her that very first day... and they still fit.

Untied laces.

Socks with Crocs because she insisted.

The fingers still in her mouth when she doesn't get her way.

Hair that needs a trim.

That smile!

The unsolicited please's and thank you's they share.

The way their hands come together.

The way he holds her.

Two different shoes.

Individually they are each amazing.

Together they are simply breath taking.

Together they are something bigger than just the two of them.

My own little ordinary miracles.
Thank you, God.

If Martha made Vietnamese-- Thịt Xá Xíu (Barbequed Charred Pork)

2011-09-30T13:52:00.000-07:00

You see I have still been cooking Vietnamese food! Just haven't posted a new recipe in a while!
You know my head has been in China. But when it comes to food, we just adore Vietnamese food around here! Hoping I'll be able to find some Chinese dishes that I can cook and love just as much. To be honest, I kinda worried poor little Mazie will come home and wonder why it's all about the Vietnamese food! If anyone has some awesome Chinese recipes to share, or a good Chinese cook book to recommend to a Caucasian soccer mom, please let me know!

Coincidentally, this dish is a popular Chinese and Vietnamese cross over dish! Kinda like the crazy 9s themselves! This pork dish is often seen in Chinese restaurants with red food coloring in the marinade resulting in the pink outer layer around the pork, (You know what I'm talking about right? The pork bits in the fried rice that have a red/pink hue on the outside?) No need to actually add food coloring. It's just as tasty without it.

Ignore the fish sauce in the back. It was for another recipe.

Ingredients
2-3 lbs of pork shoulder trimmed and cut into pieces about 1 1/2" thick and about 6" long
3 clove garlic - finely minced
2 T brown or white sugar (will probably opt for brown sugar next time)
1/2 t Chinese five-spice powder
3 T hoisin sauce
3 T honey (Oh ya baby! The honey makes it sooooo good!)
1 1/2 T vinegar
3 T soy
1 t oil (sesame, vegetable, canola...)

Prepare marinade by combining all ingredients except pork.

Add pork pieces, cover, and let marinade over night, or at least 6 hours.

I think you could easily cook the pork outside on the grill, but this worked better for my purposes. (it is still 100+ degrees outside and I simply am not going out there unless I have to!) Be sure to line to cookie sheet with foil. The head dish washer in charge will thank you!

Position the meat in the upper rack of the oven and grill at 475 degrees. Baste every 5-10 minutes with left over marinade. (I actually dipped each peace back in the marinade. Cook 30-35 min to 145 degrees. Don't over cook it, or it will really dry out. But do try to char the meat a bit!

Oh the outside crispy charred bits were HEAVEN I tell you!!!!

Slice very thin and serve on white rice!
And enjoy!

Livy had a football game to attend and got to eat early. Gotta support the JV team!

But she had to share.

(Wonderful new Vietnamese soup recipe coming up soon. It's going to be a regular in our house! And it had few ingredients, quick to make, and easy peasy!)

Miss Spider and we

2011-09-28T11:48:00.000-07:00

PPS--(Pre Post Script)

See the post below--but I'm really serious...(And now SO nervous we won't get even close to 100)

...an email wish would be awesome!!!!

now... back to the story...

Everyday after Tess and Jude get off the school bus, we have a routine of hopping on the couch and reading books together before lunch. They quickly abandon their backpacks in the middle of the floor, race into their room, and each select a book. Good Night Moon, is a favorite. So is Jude's life book. Arnie the Doughnut, The Very Clumsy Click Beetle, Guess How Much I Love You, and Runaway Bunny among others. These are favorites that come and go as time passes. You know how favorite books go... kiddos are perfectly happy reading the exact same book day after day after day. Again and again and again. Till they know each character and word by heart. Eventually they trade their favorite for a new favorite.

Tess and Jude have never had the same favorite... till now.

These days, both babes have become obsessed with David Kirk's Little Miss Spider.
It unexpectedly appeared in our after-school read pile one day. I remembered a little about it. Not enough.
I flipped through the pages with it's sing-song rhymes. A little spider enters the world and can't find her mama. She wonders where her mama is. I was choking up on page 2 already wondering if I should have preread the book. Got to page the 3rd to last page, and remembered the gravity of this book with such depth. How could I forget?
Big stuff.
Big stuff in little guy format.
Little Spider's birth mama never makes an appearance in the story. But another mama, Betty, loves Little Spider so very much, and they become a family.

It struck me like a ton of bricks. The depth of what the content was saying to my children. That they are loved and welcomed into this world. And a mama, me, took a bit longer to find them.

On that first read in a long time, by that last page, I was holding back my emotions, my tears. As I read the last page, Jude turned to me and asked, Is that the mama? pointing to Betty. There was so much confusion in his question. I could see his wheels turning. How could a beetle be a mama to a spider. Especially when they didn't look alike.

Tess and Jude have asked that this book to be read to them at least once a day for weeks now. The binding is now coming off, and we all know the words by heart now.

I find myself still fighting back the tears when I read it, and I know it has something to do with my own little China spider still waiting for a mama to call her own. I want the book to be a catalyst for Tess and Jude, not scary stuff that makes mamas cry.

They ask questions every. single. time. Tess is fascinated by Bity, (or Bettle Betty) and gets so excited and smiles broadly when Betty saves Little Spider from the birds. Tess keeps asking about Betty. Where is Bity? Bity is very pretty! she adds.
Jude asks more in depth questions, mostly things like, Where is spider's mama? Why isn't her mama there? Whose home is that?

You can see the processing so clearly that I'm surprised there isn't smoke pouring our their ears.

I am fully aware of the controversial messages some folks think this book sends to adoptees. Some of you adoptive parents may like this book and others may not. I can see both the pros and the cons. For us, I will say that this book is working as a catalyst for my littles to express themselves and ask questions. I'm going to continue sitting there right next to them, discussing the issues. So for now, I think this is good stuff, so we'll keep reading it to them and talking about it as long as they ask.

Is this book in your library?

Soliciting 100 Wishes - 百家被

2011-09-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Family and Friends,

While we are waiting for the arrival of our Mazie Jade, we are working on a project in which we would really really love your participation! We are creating a 百家被 or "100-Good-Wishes Quilt" to welcome our lil potsticker home!
There is a tradition in China that helps embrace a new child into a family and a community-

To welcome and celebrate a new life, there is a tradition in China to make a Bai Jia Bei, or 100 Good Wishes Quilt. It is a custom to invite 100 people to contribute a single square patch of cloth. The 100 patches are sewn together into a quilt that contains the luck, energy, and good wishes from all the families and friends who contributed a piece of fabric. The quilt is then passed down from generation to generation.

I mean can you imagine it? Wrapping a child, whose beginnings certainly did not have much "welcoming," into a new family and a new home and community, with such love?! The quilt will be the literal embodiment of f all the love and welcoming that every single child deserves. That our Mazie deserves!
So ,if you'd like to participate in literally wrapping our potsticker in luck and energy, good wishes and love, we'd like to invite you to contribute to her own 100-Good-Wishes Quilt.

To participate:

You can send an 6"x6" square of fabric, 100% cotton. The fabric square can be something you purchase new or pieces cut from clothing or other item of significance. The print may be something that represents you or where your from, just something you fancy! Fabric squares may be embroidered, adorned with fabric paint, (just the middle please as we'll be cutting the squares down.) or left perfectly plain.
Please include a "wish." A wish could be written on a card, stationary, index card, scrap paper, or even a post-it if that's what's handy! What ever is convenient! Wishes could be your greeting, a prayer, favorite bible verse, future advice, poem, favorite quote, song lyrics... If you'd like to explain the significance of the chosen fabric or print, or include a picture of who it is from, please do. Please email me, nancyvnjourney@hotmail.com, for our address if you don't have it already.

My mom, who has made a quilt for each of her grandchildren, has agreed to put the quilt together. Lucky me! And I'll be compiling the "wishes" into a scrapbook. I will scan each fabric square and match it with your corresponding wish, so that when Mazie is older, she will be able to look through her scrapbook and match each square on her quilt with its message from you.

I plan on keeping y'all updated with how the quilt project is going, and there is a little box over there on the right sidebar that I'll be updating. And I'll be posting pics of the squares that come in! I am really hoping that we can make the goal of 100 squares! Surely I'll be posting as my mom and I start piecing the quilt together. And of course I'll show y'all the finished product, with Mazie wrapped up in it!

We hope that you'll choose to participate. 100 is a lot, and I'm hoping that I'm not dreaming too big!
Maybe, {optimistically she says} just maybe 100 is possible. It will be something from you that our li'l potsticker will have and cherish forever, knowing that ultimately she was welcomed with abundant well wishes and love.

I can imagine her being covered by all those good wishes every night!

Our youngest 4 each wrapped in their own quilts.

PS-I'll gladly reciprocate a good-wishes quilt square and/or wish! Give me a holler if you'd like.

Conrad

2011-09-23T13:33:00.000-07:00

Meet Conrad.
Beloved, tattered, dirty, patched, and resewn Conrad.
Jude's Conrad.
Jude has kept one of his self-soothers from the orphanage. When he is tired he used to stick his thumb in the collar of his shirt and rub his thumb underneath with his fingers. With the introduction on Conrad, he now sticks his thumb in Conrad's shirt as he doses off each afternoon and evening.
We don't go anywhere without Conrad.

Qwirkle

2011-09-22T12:29:00.000-07:00

More neat stuff worthy of passing on.

We had this game, Qwirkle, in our cupboard, and I honestly have no idea where it came from! If you happen to be the person that gave it to us, ('cause I can't remember buying it for the life of me!) and I forgot to send a thank you note, I am so very sorry. You see I was abducted by aliens and didn't get around to writing my thank you notes. Jackie Kennedy is surely rolling in her grave! But please rest assured, we LOVE this game!

Grammy visited last weekend and this game was played no less than 4,309 times. And the shocking part was that by Sunday we were still playing and still enjoying the game!

It took a while to get the hang of it. But as soon as we figured out that it was a cross between Scrabble and Dominoes it was so fun! Some good thinking going on and strategy too.

Boo just turned 9 and is in 3rd grade, and he picked it up SO quickly. But fun for adults too, cause if I have to play one more game of Chutes and Ladders or Hi Ho Cheerio you might have to commit me somewhere. Which sounds kinda nice actually.

See Grammy... no pics! I'm true to my word!