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Thursday, September 7, 2017

10 - Happy birthday, Tessinator!

Tess celebrated her 10th birthday last week which gave me the perfect excuse to capture some new photos of her.
Which is something I'd like to think of as a tradition in our home, annual birthday pictures. But keeping it real, sometimes a get to it and sometimes I don't, and I've long ago let go about feeling guilty about not getting to it. If I don't get to it, that's just gonna be how it works around here, cause I don't want to stress over it and get cranky. 'Cause nobody likes me when I'm cranky. Not even me.
But anyway, here Tess is in her birthday photo shoot. All her wonderfulness. Our #Tessanator. And I mean she is a wonderful and amazing girl! Seriously, I just can't get over this child. She's just incredible. She's out-of-the box in her Tess ways. No dresses or frills or pink for her. This outfit is just about as dressed up as she gets. I remember the days long ago when she wanted to be the real Firedog when she grew up. Then came her dream to be a ninja which we encourage! I asked her today what she wanted to be when she grew up, and she said something crazy deep for a 10 year old. I don't want to be anyone else. I just want to be me. My eyes got big and round from soaking in the depth of her answer.
Black is still her favorite color, and edamame is her favorite food which she eats at least a couple times a week. She's still a tiny little thing and she's going to be that way for the rest of her life. ***insert my own personal crazy jealousy for all petite people here*** So her 10th birthday finds her in 4th grade, weighing 49 pounds and is 50" tall. And even though she's a year older than her classmates, she's still 1 full head shorter than the 9 year olds in her class. She's tied for shortest in her class. She almost always is... tied with Jude that is. And don't even get me started on how ridiculously gorgeous she is.
A new thing she's discovered in the last year that she likes, is that she likes being by herself. We often find her stolen away to her bedroom, reading or playing solitaire and enjoying the company of her stuffed animals. And I'm again reminded of how short childhood is and how quickly she's growing.

Re binging and hoarding... and attachment and RAD... and the mama fear that comes from it all... I guess I haven't talked about that stuff in a long time. And for good reason. We still have things we deal with and safe foods and just some crudge that we work on, but all in all Tess is really doing well. I believe that she'll always have her scars and her demons, but I believe that she'll be okay. Actually I know she'll be more than just okay. She's gonna ROCK this world! And I'm blessed to be one of the people that gets to help her through it, show her the amazing person she is, and help her learn how to become a better, stronger and healthier person because of it all.
When I was talking with Tess today, about her birthday blog post, she wanted me to write this part down.
I think my life is going to be be a little lonely. In my life I wanna stay with you. When I grow up I wanna stay with you because you're my mom, and I just love you. I don't ever want to get married. Actually I'm trying to avoid getting married. I want a simple life. I want to be teacher, and I want to be the smartest person in the world. I just adore my teachers, and I want to be just like them. Or maybe I could be... a... instead of a teacher... I could be a worker at Target. 
I love you to the moon and back, baby girl! And as cliche as it sounds, it's true. You make me a better me.
Happy birthday, Tess!


  1. She is beautiful & when I look at that face I see an old soul. She reminds of my granddaughter who, at the same age, is also very petite & barely weighs 50lbs. Watch out though there's nothing she can't do once her mind is made up. I just love that these girls have found a forever family. Thanks for sharing with us all:)

  2. She's grown so much! What a brilliant, smart, lovely, & strong gal she is! I know she's going to squeeze life for all it's worth, just wring it all out! Go, Tess!

  3. Tess simply glows with that beautiful olive complexion. Small but MIGHTY!!


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