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Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Walmart with 4 kids (or why boxed wine should be sold in the back-to-school department)

School starts in 6 days! This necessitated our return to the stinkin' hot desert as my papa calls it. And yes, it's really really hot here right now, especially when one has been relaxing stress free at the cool Little Cabin in the Woods for the last 10 weeks at 7311'.  I'm sweating right this very moment. And nearly always since we returned, (In places that need not be mentioned!) even though the thermostat is at 78. And a thermostat at 78 degrees in the summertime in the desert is a luxury. 

And to add insult to injury, my first day back to the desert, we had to go school supply shopping, at Walmart 'cause I'm cheap. It was just as awful as I had imagined it would be. I kept trying, loudly, to convince any Walmart employ I could find that they really should sell wine by glass in the back-to-school section. I'm not sure if Livy was embarrassed by me or proud. Walmart employees thought this was funny, in a kind of you're-not-serious, right? way.  But judging by the affirmative looks and nods I was getting from all the other stressed out mamas in the back-to-school section, I still think it's a really good idea for cross marketing. 
For some reason Ru was totally perplexed about a single yellow pocket folder with brads. He kept opening it saying This make no sense to me. This make no sense to me. This make no sense to me! Again and again and again... Never you mind that he also had a blue and a red pocket folders with brads that were exactly the same. He only found the yellow one perplexing. Mrs. Malley, if you're reading this, I told him you'd explain it to him. Thank you very much. 

A note to other mamas: As a worn-down haggard experienced  mama of 8 I have to recommend that you have each child carry their own basket with all their school supplies in it. Yes, it gets heavy, and that's the whole point. 

1- Kids carrying baskets are much easier to navigate the congested back-to-school isles than pushing the cart around.
2 - Your child will be extra tried from carrying that basket, and that helps them fall asleep extra quickly that night.
3 - As we were in the checkout line Tess, who was getting tired of carrying around her heavy basket, asked me why we didn't just get a cart for the school supplies. I told her it was a metaphor for the importance of her education. Ya, obviously! she replied. Well, at least she gets it. Or not.  
The other reason for this post... we finally got Ru's MRI results back. They found something. Or rather several somethings. Things that require treatment. We go see the specialist in a few days 'cause I'll be darned if I actually understand the medicalease of the MRI report. Ultimately, based solely on the phone call we got from scheduling we need to see a specialist and schedule treatment. Why in the world we'd get a first phone call from Ms. I'm-sorry-ma'am-but-I-can't-go-over-the-results-of-the-MRI-with-you-because-I'm-just-the-scheduler lady before even being notified that there's even an issue is beyond me. Yes, that's right. Nobody actually told us they found something on the MRI! They just had the scheduler call us to schedule treatment as the first notification that something is wrong. Welcome to the world of special needs. 


  1. Your posts I always fine so interesting since I have 12. But the desert part... I can't feel sorry for you bc in the middle of winter here will be freezing to death and you'll have it made!

    1. Ya it's pretty nice here, Oct-May so that definitely makes all this heat bearable June-Sept!

  2. I hope all's well with Ru -- will be keeping your family in my thoughts.

    That weirdness with "I'm calling with your results to tell you I can't tell you your results" is unfortunately universal; I think the last thing Rube Goldberg did before dying was design that part of our healthcare system (likely with help from Eugene Ionesco).

    I've learned to avoid "school supply" stores this time of year, but two years back was in the local Staples and, as I told her the next night at work, could easily hear one one of our nurses "negotiating" with her three kids over which notebook was sufficiently pretty *and* met the school requirements, why they could not buy a bulk package of 50 ballpoint pens, why they were getting the $2 composition book instead of the $20 version, and so on. Kudos on getting through that particular parental exercise alive & well with so many kids!

    And yes, wine by the glass in the school supply aisle -- hopefully cold beer as well! -- is an EXCELLENT idea. :-) Hang in there!


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