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Thursday, April 20, 2017

To school or not to school (13 days home)

He asks to go to school every day.
Actually several times a day.
Every day we drop Tess, Jude and Mimi off at school and every single day we drive back in the afternoon to pick them up. Ru was attending a regular ol' public school in China and was in the 1st grade. Several people told us he was doing well there, a typical student. Prior to that he finished both preschool and kindergarten. And up until last month his whole entire life was surrounded with other children every moment of every day. It makes sense that he wants to go to school so badly.

Over this last week I've had 2 meetings with school and district administration re Ru starting school in the fall and what grade level to place him in. Ru has totally figured out that school is an option, so he's started asking when he's going to school rather than if he can go and getting a little insistent about it. Granted there isn't an answer to this question yet so we just say soon. He wants us to say today or tomorrow, which are words are in his vocabulary but the answer is only soon and he follows up with the next question, "Little bit?" He's pretty excited about the thought of going to school and also getting increasingly frustrated with each passing day that he can't go.

Over the course of these meetings the principal asked if we'd like to start Ru this year (ya, like next week!) going to just music class (or perhaps PE and/or art) and maybe lunch just to give him a little exposure to what school is like. This is an option that we hadn't even considered. We haven't decided yet becuase honestly there is so so much to consider about sending him to school, for even as little at 60-90 minutes 2 x per week, and I like I mentioned before my head is filled these days. His self esteem. His inability to speak to teachers. Indiscriminate affection... But we'll have to decide soon since there really only are 4 weeks of school left. Today we head off to the school again for an English evaluation test. Maybe it's wrong, but we're hoping he fails it miserably since he'll qualify for some extra services for next year if he does.
4 doing an Asian squat... well not Jude so much but he's still in PT from his surgery and working on core strength so close enough. 
We're not ruling out the option of home schooling Ru, but from my previous experience homeschooling (I home schooled The Man Child for a semester way back when) I know that would be quite challenging for me and would also require a big sacrifice from the whole family, so we're leaning towards public school for now.

So that's where thing the whole school thing stands for now... ish.


  1. I cannot imagine your not sending Ru to school. It is impossible to explain to a child that young, language barrier aside, why now is not a good time to send him to school. He is chomping at the bit. He wants to fit in and you are telling him no. He wants to do what his brother and sisters are doing, and you are telling him no. He wants more than anything to be like all the other kids, and you are telling him no. The experience will so open his world as well as the lines of communication with your whole family. I do not mean to sound harsh, because I would not want to be in your shoes for a million $$$$. It is one of the most first important decisions you will have to make. It is easy for others to sit on the sidelines and make those decisions for you.
    I will pray for you and your family that Ru's transition into his new life will be guided thru His grace. If the past is a predictor of the future, he will do fantastic as the newest member of your family. God Bless.

    1. Just to clarify, we have not told him that he cannot go to school. The SCHOOL is the one that has told him no. There are documents/immunizations/enrollments forms/evaluations and permission from administrators and teachers that must be done before he can attend school and several of these need to be done prior to enrollment by state law. After all that is done, we will make a quick decision about whether or not to enroll him and when. And there is only 3+ weeks of school left. I agree that he wants so badly to be like the other children, but he also needs to learn how to love and be loved within a family unit and that has to take priority over accelerating his education. Thank you for your encouragement and your prayers. We'll take 'em! He's a wonderful special boy!


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