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Thursday, April 6, 2017

On the playground


I've had several people ask me how Mimi is doing, so I thought I'd go ahead and write about it here, especially since I know that families often consider bringing their adopted child back with them to China when they adopt another.
First, a little about Mimi. She's a bit sensitive. She was so excited to have her own not twin. She's also an easy traveler and pretty flexible.
Long story short, she's doing well, but we really feel this isn't by accident. There's been a fair share of planning and work to make her heart feel secure and happy during this trip. First, Boo has been invaluable in helping with her. We told Mimi many possible scenarios ahead of time so when Ru's meltdowns did happen, she wasn't completely surprised or taken off guard. Then Boo is able to whisk her away so she (so neither of them really) feel bad or guilty or have to deal with the chaos of scene. 
We've also been quite purposeful about spending a large quantity of one-on-one time with her. I think this has really helped her know she is so very valued in our very Ru-centered universe right now. Papa or I have taken her down to the Starbucks for a little mini-date or gone to the lounge to play a game of cards with just her. We let her stay up each evening an hour past Ru's bedtime and have lotion rubbed on feet or snuggle time while we watch an episode of The Great British Baking Show, our current obsession.
To be honest, Mimi and Ru do not spend much time together yet. I mean they are together in the same proximity, but they aren't playing with one another very often. Ru cheats at games, and he's often not nice as he's trying to figure out his place in a new family. It became pretty obvious in the beginning that Mimi spending too much time with Ru was going to wear her thin quickly. So rather than even take a chance of starting with a bad foundation between them, we just decided to avoid it all together and help them establish a good sibling relationship later. Our goal by bringing Mimi was not to give her a playmate or help establish a new relationship with her brother, but rather to show her a bit of China, "my China" as she calls it, her first home.
But Ru and Mimi have been playing together occasionally. Sometimes they play next to each other rather than playing with each other. At times they actually enjoy playing with one another, playing cards or tag on the playground, and when they are together they are supervised (only by Papa or myself) at all times. Better to be safe than sorry.
So actually she's doing great. Most importantly she's learning about "her China" and hopefully, even though it may be a bit beyond her at age 7, a little about who she is within it.

1 comment:

  1. Again, thank you for your openness and honesty! We are bringing our 7-yea-old with us when we travel next month. Your insight is so helpful!!

    ReplyDelete

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