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Sunday, April 2, 2017

Day 7? and the visa medical

On comforting... 
We've discovered he sucks his thumb when sleeping or relaxing. When he first saw that I saw him sucking his thumb he was embarrassed. But in the last few days he's relaxing a bit and sucking it when watching tv. Maybe it's something we'll work on later, or maybe he won't need it later. Right now I'm thrilled that he has had this comfort over the years and have no intention of trying to get him to stop now. 
On the visa medical...
The pics today are from yesterday's visa medical appointment. All visa applicants have to get a medical prior to getting a visa. Ru did wonderfully and not a tear was shed when he had his blood draw. But now that I'm getting to know him better that doesn't surprise me. I think he's used to taking care of himself, and we're trying to change that. In the middle of the medical Ru was insistent on carrying around his own paperwork. He sat in the chair and looked through each of the 10-15 pages. I figured it was his documentation so as long as he didn't lose anything he should be entitled to look at it. I joked that he was proofreading. And turns out he was proof reading because a few minutes later he enthusiastically brought the papers back to me and pointed out a mistake that he found! A couple pages of a different child's paperwork had been included with his. He caught the error! Like I said before, he's a smart cookie!
On parenting...
Ru's melt downs are still coming and seem to come more often when he doesn't get his way. When he doesn't get to play a game when he wants too. When he can't have his favorite foods. When we won't buy what he wants. When he loses a game. I'm reminding myself that he has been under-parented parented for the last 7 years and that of course makes it challenging to parent him all of a sudden now. But he's smart that sometimes it doesn't take much to get him to catch on. Sometimes it does. 
On communication...
Here's a shocker. Or it was to me at least. Communication really hasn't been a big issue. At all. I speak regular ol' English to him along with what ever pantomiming I can figure out. And he pretty much knows what we're saying. Let's go upstairs to our room now. We're going to go eat so please put on your shoes. Please clean up your toys. You are a smart boy! All these and more seem to be communicated just fine. And he doesn't seem to have much of a problem communicating he's needs and wants either. I'm surprised by this, but then again I'm not. He's smart (Do I keep saying that?) and I assume he's been finding ways to get things done all by himself for years now.

On filling in the gaps... 
He's really hesitant to be touched. Maybe someone can clarify for me, but I don't think the Chinese are very touchy fee-ly culture. And surely with his years in the orphanage surely he wasn't touched or held as much as a baby or a child should be. A pat on the head is about all I can get in. He is accepting hugs but turns his back towards me when I do hug him. But I still give hugs and try to sneak in kisses even though he doesn't like them much. Yesterday, after a particularly big melt down, he was trying to avoid having to do with us at that moment. burying himself in the corner of the couch while Chinese game shows played on television. I sat next to him and offered him some lotion. He said no and turned his back towards me even more. So I started to put some of it on me. Within about 10 seconds he pushed up his sleeves up and put out his arm towards me indicating that he'd like me to put lotion on his arms. After about 30+ minutes he let me rub lotion on both arms, legs and eventually took off his shirts so I could put it on his back. 30 minutes! It's such a good sign that he does want touch and will accept it. Such good stuff and really brings me hope. Since then he's brought the lotion to me several more times to put it on him. It's so good, a wonderful step towards healing. As Papa said, we're going back and filling in the gaps that he missed.

On being a card shark...
I bought and brought the card game Uno to China with us. In order to "pack light" I only brought 1 of the 2 decks. It took me at least 2 games of Uno to realize that the deck I brought only has red and yellow cards. I unknowingly left all the blue and green cards at home. Nevertheless, we've been playing Uno. A lot. Go figure that you can play the game with only 2 colors!

And I think Boo is paying me back for all the years I took photographs of him!
On hand holding...
He's looking for me and reaching for my hand every time we go out now. He gives it a little squeeze to tell me he's glad we're holding hands. Sometimes he wants nothing to do with holding my hand and it's a struggle to get him to do it. But it's one of those things that just has to happen so we make it happen. 


  1. What a treat~photos of yourself with Ru. Isn't Ru a gem~~smart and handsome. Mimi appears to be enjoying herself~love her smile in the clinic.

    1. It is quite a treat to have pics of myself with my children! So happy Boo is doing this! And the timing couldn't be more perfect.


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