The reason I'm blogging right now in the middle of our very busy trip is twofold. First it keeps our family and good friends back home updated on our journey. We miss them like crazy and know they are anxious to know how and what we are doing here as they get little glimpses of their new brother, grandson, friend half way across the world. Secondly, I've always tried to be honest and transparent about our adoption journeys and just the plain ol' life as a mama to a large family. When we started the journey to adopt Ru, I looked for other peoples stories to follow and identify with. But I discovered that there weren't really many adoption blogs about adopting older children. There are however a lot of misrepresentations and assumptions about how it would go. But I know that adoption journeys are as unique as all the children that are adopted, and if our story can provide even one future adoption family a personal glimpse into what may be and help them walk their own journey with their eyes wide open into the amazing wonderful and hard scary journey it is, then I'm glad I've shared our story.
Ru is walking this unknown journey so much more then even we are. He walks with us, literally and figuratively, down a path of many unknowns. So much is lost in order for so much to be gained. And when your 7 years old, even if that path leads to a forever family with unconditional love, it can be a very scary thing. Ru changes every day. Every day brings new glimpses of what is deep inside him. If you've been reading, you've heard my accounts of his aversion to touch. And you know how much this first picture means to us. He put his hand on mine. It's not really a huge moment. He just put his arm on mind. But in light of all that is happening, I want to say it again. He put his hand on mine! Unprompted. Unforced. He sought out human touch, a mother's touch, and rested his arm on mine. This moment is huge for us! He's reaching for me. He wants to be touched. Not all the time, but several times a day. He knows we're here, and he's seeking us out. Just in the last couple days, he comes to my side and wraps his arm around mine squeezing his head in between my body and my arm. In the car he rests his head against my body. He is slowly accept that we are his and confirming this with our touch.
Some moments he accepting us and the change. And some moments it all comes crashing down. Both pictures are such and important part of the journey.