I know an update is in order.
I know this left you hanging.
But you see, I had to process. We had to process a lot of big stuff about what's best for us, and just where we were going or not going as a family. Back in the early part of this year we thought we knew, but then my last China trip left me... well... in a tough place. It took lots more processing. Prayer. And discussion between my hunk of burnin' love and me. And we thought we knew what what the plan was. You know that saying about telling God your plans, right? Yeah, well that happened. So after we were reminded that we're not necessarily in charge of
|On my April China trip with Gladney. Apparently selfies are universal! I couldn't get enough of these boys!|
Which again left us in the midst of... God, where do you want us? If our family done growing?
Yeah, lots more processing and no easy answers. But over the months, we think we've finally settled on the plan now, or really it's more like a non-plan. The plan is to prepare ourselves for what (or who) may come down the chute... like maybe a China adoption. Maybe.
And maybe not.
We're not really sure.
You see we have a little guy in our head, and I'm not sure if he really exists or not. Maybe he's a figment of my creative imagination, and maybe he's not. But he's a very specific little guy. And I can see him and his smile in my mind's eye. Except for that smile, he's kinda a blur. When folks ask us if we're done adding to our family, we've often said there may be one more out there for us, but we weren't sure. And we still aren't. On the chance that he's not fiction, on the chance that he's a real boy in need of a forever family, and we find him, we're going to bring him home. How could we not?! I've been very upfront with the two agencies that we work with. If they happen to see a little guy like the one that's in our head, then we'd very much like to adopt him. But on the other hand we're totally at peace if he does turn out to be a dream. To be very clear, if we're never matched with a child it's okay. We always said that our 4 girls and 3 boys felt a little off balance. We felt like maybe, just maybe, that there is a little boy missing from the crazy us. In China the number 8 is a crazy lucky number and maybe that's just the number of kiddos we were meant to have. But then again Chinese superstitions are no reason to adopt a child. And 7 is pretty stinkin' awesome already!
Our China home study is done and is valid for the next 18 months. And if something, or rather someone comes along, then holy cow we're going to turn this crazy crew into Ordinary Miracles & The Crazy 10! But if not, then we're going to sit back and relish in the blessings that have already been bestowed on us. Either is totally okay with us. So long story short, the plan is to let God be in charge of the plan. We're going to try real hard to sit back and enjoy the ride. And not throw up.
During that time we will continue to do short-term and emergency fostering only. We are unable to do any long-term fostering because we'd then need a costly updates on our home study. Despite the huge shortage of foster homes in AZ, (more guilt) we still feel this is the right decision for us.
And that is the official non-plan!