Over on the Q&A Carol was curious about Tess and Jude's adoptions from Vietnam.
I'm curious about the information about birth parents given in Tess & Jude's adoption files. I have adopted kids from China, and I completely respect your privacy. I'm not asking anything about Tess & Jude's specific stories, but I would love to learn more about that process of the information being deemed inaccurate by Vietnamese officials and what happens. You touched the surface of that this winter in a blog post, and it makes me want to learn more about it!
As I'm sure you know, Carol, the China and the Vietnam adoption process are similar in some ways and different than others. For our China adoption on Mimi, like the vast majority of Chinese adoptions we have no information on her birth parents. She was abandon as a newborn with no identifying information, likely because relinquishment of a child is illegal and birth parents aren't likely to leave any information that could trace back to them. Anywho, back to Vietnam. Tess and Jude were both born at the same hospital in Vietnam to 2 different birth mothers. Both birth mothers provided identification upon checking in, had their babies, and left without them. We were told it's not an uncommon way to "surrender" a child for adoption this way. But there's nothing that says this identification was accurate or even theirs. Based on the information they provided (who knows if it's true of not) we have both the birth mother and birth father's name, age, and address.
***Yep! You read that right... we have NAMES & ADDRESSES of their birth parents!
Those of your more familiar with the China adoption process can pick your jaw up off the floor now.***
But as I talked about here, what we do with the information, or rather what THEY do with the information, isn't up to us. It's up to Tess and Jude and we'll support them regardless of what or when they do it.
So Carol, as you can see, if they ever do decide they want to do a birth family search, they have a lot more information to work off of than Mimi does. And that makes me conflicted. what if Mimi is the one that really wants to search and has the empty hole and no info to go off of. Yet her brother and sister do? Still all these years later, there's not much easy about international adoption. Few clear cut answers and blacks and whites. Except for the one where you wonder if you can love with a child that another women grew within her womb. The answer to that question became totally clear the very first time I held them in my arms.
|Our sweet things, 6 years ago in HoChiMinh City, Vietnam, before they came home.|
They knew each other before they knew us!
Every time I see this pic I giggle. Tess looks a bit ticked off, ya think?