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Friday, September 20, 2013

Shoe shopping, bike helmets and mama prattle


I've been on mental overload lately.

I want to be the mama that fills her home with grace and creates a refuge from the world.  But right now I'm just the mama that feels like the world is piling up around her. Not to mention the dishes, the laundry and the dust bunnies.  Literally.

There are seasons of life that aren't necessarily all smooth sailing.
I know this to be true.
And sometimes if feels like the sailboat is caught in a typhoon.  When everyone is out of the house and there is finally a moment to catch up on errands, the phone calls, or the absolutely disgusting windows that that dog has rubbed his grimy nose against for far too long, the last thing I want to do is all that stuff.  All I want to do is crawl up in a ball and close my eyes and be alone in my quiet.

Like I said, I want to be the other kind of mama... full of smiles and encouragement that creates a safe haven for her family.
But right now, I am not.

There are some undisclosed struggles and changes going on in the Crazy house right now.  That I won't disclose.
Funny, I went shoe shopping a couple nights ago.  And it helped.  Shoes have a miraculous power to transform a woman's mind set don't ya' think?

Then...
Patch has been riding his bike to school these days.  It's about 10 miles one way, but he really prefers to ride there on his own.  It's an independence thing me thinks.
The first bike helmet was too small.  Then he couldn't find the bigger one.  We finally just bought a new one, because after all he is riding a long distance at pretty fast speeds in a big city in the proximity of some very fast moving cars.  The new helmet never even got out of the bag before it was misplaced too.  It went on like that for days so still he didn't wear it.  Not that he was necessarily opposed to wearing it.  It was just the whole finding it and doing it thing that got in the way of being 15 years old.
I finally laid down the law and said he could not leave the house until it was on his head the following morning.  And sure enough, the new helmet was found and on his head as he rode off yesterday.
That afternoon, the very first day he wore his helmet, we got a call from him.  He was riding home and crashed pretty hard.  Papa went to pick him up and discovered that Patch got his front wheel caught and did a header on the pavement, cracking the front of his helmet in the process.  His helmet mind you, not his head.  Those things are to crack.  There's quite a bit a road rash too, but again I'm reminded of God's grace right there staring me in the face in the midst of the typhoon.

I'm trying to be a mama that makes her home and family a place for all to enjoy and love to be.  And some of the time it is.  But these days it seems like everything is against that objective, including my heart.

I hear ballet flats are all the rage.  Me thinks I am in need of another pair of shoes.

9 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh! The helmet thing! Yikes! And thank the Lord

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  2. Or a stiff drink! Thank God for the helmet and your insistence.

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  3. Or a stiff drink! Thank God for the helmet and your insistence.

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  4. Scary! Life gets hard sometimes . Hope things settle down soon.

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  5. Oh friend I hope you find peace in the midst of this storm. Those are hard seasons - when it feels like everything is working against you. Sorry to hear that is the road you are on right now. This too shall pass....that is what my grandma always told me.

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  6. Oh, Nancy. (((Hugs))) I'm glad he is ok. Hang in there!!

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  7. This post........I connected completely! I have said those exact words lately! The house is a mess, and all I want to do in my quiet time is curl up in my SILENCE......oh blissful silence. And I've just uttered those words in desperation to God.....I WANT TO BE that kind of mother......Please Lord CHANGE ME!!! I feel so depleted, I desperately WANT to be the sanctuary mother.......and inside my head, I AM the mother that smiles and is sympathetic and patient and loving, never raising her voice, enjoys spending every spare minute ministering to her children.....until they all hit the door at 3:45 bickering and whining.......then I want to go back to my curled up quiet place where they all behave like I have it outlined..........Oh how I wish I could sit and TALK to you over a cup of coffee......pray with you in this storm........This too shall pass, I know.......but it's just HARD right now.
    Blessings to you dear friend........and I too am so glad that hard headed brainless 15 yr old.....didn't crack his head:) Oh how we love them!!!! And oh how much at times we really don't like them :) I know. It does get better! My 15 yr old is now 21 and expecting his first baby with his sweet little wife........and I LIKE him an awful lot now:) But there was a day.....oh my was there ever.......that I nearly cringed when he walked in the door, not knowing if he would be nice, or really really hurtful. Hang on my dear!

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  8. I look forward to your posts every day. You always seem to have just the right thing to say. I love that you share your struggles...it makes me feel less alone when I'm not the mama I wish I was. May God give you the wisdom, strength, and patience you need to get through these difficult times.

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  9. Wow, so glad he wore his helmet that day!

    You know, in college I was (and also appeared) to be quite the dork. I rode my bike to school and always wore my helmet. One day I decided to ride to campus for a football pep rally (we were national champs that year, yay). And I didn't feel like dragging my helmet into the stadium and having to hang out with it for an hour (yes, it would've surely been stolen had I left it on my bike while at the rally.) Anyway, after leaving the stadium, I had to drive downhill after stopping at a light. A big SUV was in the lane next to me. Another car was trying to turn into a parking lot to the other side of the street. It didn't see me. Thankfully I slammed on my brakes and only turned 90 degrees (without tumbling down the hill) and landed on my feet. Needless to say, that was the last time I ever went riding without my helmet.

    Yes, even now when we go riding around our quiet community, hubby and I are sporting our helmets...me on my beach cruiser...with a helmet. You just never know....

    I'm so thankful he had his helmet on that day.

    And I'll be praying for ya sweet mama as you deal with undisclosed struggles. Big cyber hugs!!!

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