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Sunday, February 26, 2012

Dearest little one,

Her referral picture.
The photo that started her journey to adoption.
I'm consumed with thoughts of you.  I'm so ready to have you in my arms and be the mama that you've never had.  These thoughts keeps running through my head over and over and over again.

---I am blessed.  Sometimes, ok most of the time, I am blown away that the Lord has chosen me to be your mama.  You are precious to Him.  Your are His beloved precious child, and now He is going to to entrust me with your care.  That concept is mind-blowing to me most of the time.

---I am beyond excited to finally meet you.  I'm giddy!  I'm  twitterpated!  I am thrilled and anxious and to take you in my arms and claim you our own.  To wrap my arms around you and call you my precious daughter forever and forever.  I want to feel your cheek beneath my kiss and stroke that sweet place on your temple as you fall asleep.  We'll meet in just a few days.  I'll try so hard not to scare you when we first meet.  I'll try to keep my tears at bay and greet you with a smile.  I'll try not to smother you in kisses or squeeze you too tightly in fear that you'll disappear like a dream.   I'll try not to scare you more that you already will be.

---I am heart broken for what you are about to go through.  Sweet little Mimi Jade, I am so sorry that I have to take you away from all you hold dear and all you know.  I'm sorry I have to take you away from the country you were born in, from your heritage, your birth right.  I'm beyond sorry to take you from the very people who you have come to know as your father and mother.  I am so very sorry this process of uniting us requires so much pain and fear.

---I promise to love you just the same as if you were born to me.  I will kiss your boo boos, cherish your wildflower bouquets, and joyfully sop up your spilled milk, and there will be no difference in the love that I have for you and the children that were born from my womb.  I promise... that to the very very best of my ability, I, a pasty-white, middle-aged Caucasian soccer mom, will do my best to raise you be a strong and proud Chinese-American woman.

Soon, little one, we start our journey together,

Mama

12 comments:

  1. made me cry.....she is beautiful. I am having all the same emotions!

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  2. Best of luck to you! HOpe all goes soooo smoothly!

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  3. I am so excited for you!

    Blessings on your travels to your new baby girl.

    You all will be in my thought and prayers.

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  4. I have a feeling that this little Mazie is somebody special. On top of that she is getting a special mom who obviously is crazy for her already. Best wishes and safe travels!

    Liz

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  5. Great stuff in these posts Nancy - you have the heart of a Mom.

    and as you see this you'll be hours away from "wheels up"....

    Fair winds and following seas on your travels...

    and hugs -

    aus and co.

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  6. Safe journey to you all. Can't wait to see the photos. It was all meant to be!

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  7. Lovely letter to your daughter. <3
    Bestest wishes, my thoughts are with you!

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  8. Amazing! My heart goes out to your and all your little blessings:)

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  9. Beautiful! SO happy for your! So happy for Mazie Jade even through she won't feel happiness at first.

    God it SO good!

    Praying for you.

    Happily just moved you from 'Preparing to travel' to 'Meeting Baby Now' in my Google Reader! Soon....SOON!!!

    Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

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  10. That was so beautiful and moving. I cannot wait until you and your darling (too cute for words!) daughter meet and can't wait to see the first photos!! :D Have very safe travels and enjoy your time in China. Godspeed.

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  11. Can your heart be any bigger? Beautiful Nancy.

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