Somewhere between the Komodo Dragons and the merry-go-round...

...Tess got lost.

It wasn't for long.
Maybe only 10 minutes.
But it was long enough for us all to realize that she was totally gone, and as mamas do, I felt it in the pit of my stomach.

We were at the zoo.  And somewhere between the Komodo Dragons and the merry-go-round she slipped out of sight.
Some how.
Some where.
A quick inventory of 7 kiddos found only 6, and she was totally missing.
I scanned in all directions but couldn't see her.  One of the big kids was designated to stay with the little ones, and the 3 others of us scattered in all the possible directions.
I found her as quickly as I had lost her, hand in hand with a zoo employee by the elephants.
(If anyone reading is local, you know how far away that is.)

So here's the whole point of this post.
Kiddos get lost, and this wasn't the first time that I've had that nauseating feeling in the pit of my stomach looking for a missing child.

But my Tess, who has never ever met a stranger, who has little concern about me and being with {or without} me, fearless Tess who is happy going off with anyone at any time to do anything...  was really frightened.

She was scared.
She was crying.
She was missing me.
She was upset... very upset.

And that kind of thing isn't par for Tess.

Or at least is used to be that way.
I didn't even realize things had changed until this incident at the zoo.

This fear when she was lost is new.  We've never witnessed this reaction before.  Contrastingly, my fear is not new as Tess has wandered off multiple times.  She's our no-thought-at-all-to-wandering-off child.  She has been walking out the front door of our home without a care in the world since she was old enough to reach the handle.  Yes, we've tried locks and barricades and security systems.  But it still has happened more times than I care to admit and yes, the police have even been involved.  {gulp}

All this to say, the fear I saw on her face this time, was new.

I saw her from a distance before she saw me.  I could see that she was trying to hold it all together.   Then she saw me.  Big open mouth producing loud sobs, and crocodile tears suddenly appeared.
My girl was scared because she couldn't find us.
This is a big sign in progression for our little one.

3 1/2 years later we're still on this journey of attachment and bonding.
Attachment can take that long, especially for kiddos from hard places.  And I don't say that to scare anyone.  But it is what it is, and we the parents of these kiddos from hard places should have our eyes wide open about it.

We might always be on this journey.
But progress is being made.
And sometimes it takes something like a missing-child for me to notice it.