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Friday, February 3, 2012

Attachment 3 1/2 years later

Don't let her cuteness fool you.
This little one will cut you off at the knee caps without so much as a thought!
There's no doubt at all in my mind that 3 1/2 years later it's still attachment issues we're dealing with.  And that's totally ok.
Attachment is a journey, not a destination.  And I'll more than gladly hold and guide this sweet little one, helping her feel safe and secure till she's ready to surrender her control for unconditional love.
It's ok.

But watch out!

Case in point... I met the school bus yesterday.  As soon as I saw her it was quite clear that she was upset and had been for a while.  Something that likely happened at school.  This has never happened before... at least not while she's coming off the school bus.
I scooped her up as the bus pulled away.  I asked her why she was so sad.
In .18 nanoseconds her sadness turned to anger.  Back to control where she feels safe.

That bus driver! (She pointed at him  as he drove off, and glared in his direction with huge crocodile tears in her eyes.)
I'm mad!
That school bus driver!  He get fired!
Tessy no want buckle seat belt!
He's FIRED!  
He's DEAD!

If I didn't know her so well, and know her heart, I'd be shocked at this statement.  If I didn't know her pain and struggle.  And the way she pushes away when she feels vulnerable.
The school bus driver and his aid adore my children.  They are among the nicest and gentlest men I know, and I trust them without question.  There are approx 6 children, ages 2-4 years old, that ride the bus with Tess and Jude.
I'm glad we're exploring emotions and Tess is learning to express herself.  This is good stuff indeed!  It's so good to help her articulate what she feels inside and process it all.
But beware if you get on her bad side!  Which can easily happen... on a whim... from nothing that is your fault.
She'll let you have it... as this mom can personally attest to!


ps-we had pancakes for breakfast this morning.

pps-day #22 and still waiting on TA.  {insert thumb twiddling here}

11 comments:

  1. Aww- I hate that your sweet girl was so upset. Who needs seatbelts anyway? Wishing TA your way VERY soon!! xoxo Brooke

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  2. Your girl really does just melt my heart. Sad that turns into anger...it hurts a Mama's heart. (I'm often wishing my 8 year old would just let me comfort him.) You are such a great mom full of love. It is beautiful.

    Come on TA! I'm praying for it to go quickly. It has nothing to do with my own selfish idea that if those in the cue get their paperwork now that when it is our turn to wait we won't have to wait as long. No nothing. I really do pray that you get to travel soon.

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  3. Thank goodness she has such a good mama, who knows her heart, even if she doesn't... yet. :)
    OT: where did you get Tess's gorgeous sweater?! I LOVE it!!!

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  4. Amy---ebay. My favorite store! Plus it's open 24/7 so I can "shop" late into the night in my jammies!

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  5. I love that you know her heart. Makes all the difference. :)

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  6. Oh how I have one with a heart just like that, our mama hearts break every time don't they??? She is so very precious!!!

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  7. It is such a journey. Hills and valleys, eh? But a journey we wouldn't trade for anything!
    LOVE these pictures, Nancy :)

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  8. Oh, she's gorgeous! But man, she can cut right to the bone! I am so glad you've learned the language of her healing heart and can communicate with her through all she's going through.

    Yum on the pancakes.

    bah on day 22. Let's go china!

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  9. She is still very young and still have time to change and learn to adjust her emotion. She's lucky to have a mother like you..

    Visiting for Favorite Photo Friday! Hope you can stop by:)

    http://dsahmblogs.com/favorite-photo-friday-fish-pond/

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  10. She is so cute and sweet and squishy, lol.

    And is good that she is learning to express her feelings and tell you what she feels. I wish you all the best and may the Lord guide you and give you all that you need to help her. <3

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  11. L has been going through a tough time lately (and I don't blame her one bit!), and she her sadness is turning into anger. Breaks my heart to watch hers break.

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