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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The worst mama in the world?

I'd like to be the cool mom.  The one when my children try to figure out where to go, their friends enthusiastically say Let's go to your house!

But...

Out with it...

There's a little part of my heart that sinks when my kiddos have a friend spend the night.
Is this so wrong?  Yes, I'm sure it is.
But it is what it is.

Case in point... When company is here, I have to wear a bra 24/7.  Overnight guests, even those whose age is in the single digits, just should not be subjected to certain things.  I'll have you know I breast fed for 7 whole years, and things just ain't where the good Lord originally put 'em.

Second, younger guests don't like my food. I serve them things like papaya salad and fish dinners with the head still on and they tend to lose weight if they visit for extended periods of time.  Boo had a friend spend the night, and as I tucked them in, the friend asked what we were having for breakfast.   Papa usually does breakfast, so when I said that I didn't have a clue, I wasn't lying.  But then the friend said that he didn't care for either asparagus or salad for breakfast, but he most certainly loved bagels and cream cheese.  We have a common response to comments like these.  When you get to a restaurant, feel free to order.   But I didn't say this.  I'm kinda hoping Papa will go get bagels and cream cheese, and I can blame it on the friend.

3rd point, I feel a little guilty when I put company to work, and no matter how young the friends are, they are still company.   It just doesn't feel like I'm being a good hostess, but stuff has gotta get done 'round here!  I'm trying real hard to get past the guilt and have recently been giving our younger guests a chore or two to do around here if they get bored or underfoot.  I had Sunny and her boyfriend wash my car.  Papa came home a several weeks ago, to find two strangers, age 12 and 8, picking oranges in our backyard.  And Patch's neighbor friend comes over frequently... daily... when Patch isn't home.  I now ask him if he wants to come in and babysit play with the babes while I work on dinner.   I have to walk all the way to the front door after all, so I might as well get some work out of it.  The lessons to be learned is don't get bored or underfoot in my house, even if you're company.

Lastly, the kiddo's friends rarely understand the subtle and unwritten rules of the house.  And how could they?
Like when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, and that certainly means no happy-giggle chatter when I'm not happy about something!
Or if you don't sleep in at least as long as I do, you're on your own till I get up.

I'm not sure if "company" has wizened up to the inner guilt-ridden me.
They keep coming, so I don't think so.  Maybe it makes them feel at home?
(You know I just have to have a picture.  Doesn't have anything to do with parenting.  Still gotta have it.)

8 comments:

  1. You sound so much like me.....it's scary....

    "i'm bored" translates in my mind as "give me some chore to do......"

    I tend to tie yarn across my Family Room, in quadrints and assign children (sometimes mine...sometimes any 'little' who has wondered into my house unwittingly) to a quad. to clean

    Amazingly, it works, and they keep on coming!

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  2. Roberta-
    "I'm bored" is never utter in this house, not by my children at least. They all know the consequences, and it starts with "pick up" and ends with "dog poop."

    And they keep coming. Amazing how it's the same the world around.

    Nancy

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  3. Your post is very funny...love your blog.

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  4. Your post (esp. the bra part) made me laugh!! And rest assured you are not the worst mama in the world because I don't even let me kids do sleep overs--ever!

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  5. Ha! You go girl! They've pretty much stopped coming to my house :)

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  6. ha ha ha ha. i will come do chores at your house anytime.

    and BTW, I know ALL about the effects of breastfeeding/pumping for years. it's ugly. Think, pancake.

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  7. Try being vegetarian and having your kids' friends over. See what they eat then! Some of them could stand to lose a few lbs anyway so I don't mind when they go home hungry. One of them won't eat fruit unless it has sugar poured on it along with chocolate syrup and whipped cream. Ummm, yeah, sorry kid, not gonna happen in my house. Eat a lot before you come over. Although it's always hysterical when I sneak in veggies or tofu and they have NO clue what they just ate and they end up liking it!

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  8. thank you for the giggles! our sprouts are still quite young but i'll go ahead and thank you in advance for such wonderful ideas! :)

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