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Monday, May 9, 2011

High Pocket Episode 2

Are you ready for another fun-filled episode of "What's In Mama's High Pocket?"
***insert canned applause***
Well get ready bloggie viewers!  Because I've got a doozey of an episode today!
*** insert laugh track***

Confused?  Lost?  Perplexed?  Yet strangely drawn to the flame?
Look here at our series premier.  The following will only continue to confuse readers without this background.

Go ahead... I'll wait.

We have some crazy evil neighbors!  Think Kevorkian.
They gave us... you sittin' down for this?... a Pachinko machine!
*** insert synchronized audience gasp***
A puppy would have been less cruel!
You know Pachinko right?  That crazy loud Asian semi-pinball game, that's louder than the finals at a demolition derby?  The one that come with a multitude of little steel balls!
Oh yes, they did!  That Pachinko!
I honestly don't know what they were thinking.  First off, let me say they are a couple without children.  Maybe that explains they're lapse of reason... showing up at our door step with the game of Satan in their hands and 6 impressionable lemmings greeting them at the front door.  they had it in their garage gather dust and figured it needed a new home.
Maybe they were thinking, Hey those folks a couple doors down have Asian kids... and this is an Asian game!  Go figure it should be theirs!


Did I mention the no less than 1,304,088 little steel balls that it came with?  Sorry about the coffee you just spit out your nose.  If you didn't, you fail to grasp the gravity of the situation.  It's serious.  It's really serious.

Of course we said, Oh sure we'd love to have this Satanic torture device in our home... because like I mentioned we're a family of lemmings after all.
We turned it on... all 165 decibels because there is no volume.  When you "win" it gets even louder.  Bliss!
And wow, was I surprised how much fun and joy it was for all of us!  And by fun and joy, I mean ear splitting to the point of inducing nausea and little steel balls all over the house ready to create the banana-peel slide!

Two months later, I'm still picking up those little balls.  They're multiplying like rabbits. under sofas and along baseboards

Back to the game, (everybody shout it out with me now)
What's... In... Mama's... High... Pocket?!
Today it seemed especially obscene.  And seeing as how this is as raunchy as this blog will ever get, I thought I just HAD to share it with y'all!

This is what I found.  It got funny.

$.53  (including a lucky wheat penny!)
1 small rubber band
1 clip barrette
and all those little balls!

Yes.  All of them.  In one day.  In the high pocket.
Which leads us to the obvious question.
How may ball bearings does a bra need?
18?  Am I a few balls short of a full deck?
Figures.

Stay tuned for our next episode when will discover if lengthy exposure to fingernail clippers can cause serious abrasions.

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