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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Foster care training 101-thoughts of the week

  • We've now completed 8 of our 10 required classes, 2 or our 5 required interviews, and have most of the paperwork gathered and filled out.  
  • Papa and I both received a "level 1 finger printing card" this week.  I really have no idea what it is or what we're suppose to do with it, or what it's used for.  But we were required to get them as a poart of the foster licensing process and now have them.
  • We been repetitively told when parenting foster care children from difficult places, that we will serve best if we can occasionally take our emotions out of it.  That foster care parents that who are too emotionally involved will burn out  and do a disservice to their foster children.  That it is best to take a step back and look at the big picture, without emotions.  My first thought is that I would have been a better parent to Tess in the early days if I would have done this.  My second thought is wondering if I am capable of doing this.
  • We met with a young African American man, in his mid-20's, that was placed with multiple foster homes, and ultimately adopted at the age of 15, by a mid-western family.  By his own account, he was a tough nut.  We asked what he'd like us, a family just starting out on the journey to be a foster family, to remember most.  He gave us this advice.  "Keep showing your vision to the children with you.  Just love them and treat them like you would your own children.  They will remember it.  You passion is enough."
  • In the foster care field, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.  As a matter of fact, wheel that do not squeak get no attention at all.  So we will need to squeak very loudly.  And complain.  A lot.  To get things done.
  • Parents who abuse their children, mentally, physically, sexually, emotionally,  even those parents who do it for long periods of time, or turn a blind eye while someone else abuses their child,  even parents to do not provide adequate food, or shelter, or expose their children to horribly unsafe and dangerous conditions... these parents love their children very very very much.
  • As we learn more about the foster care process, I keep asking about, searching for information about kiddos that come through the foster care system with the inability to attach.  Those kiddos who have been neglected or ignored so much that there ability to attach to anyone has been compromised.  (We hear about these types of kiddos in international adoption frequently.)  I now believe that this is pretty rare in foster care unlike IA.  Foster children usually have very poor attachment skills, often attaching to the wrong people for the wrong reasons, manifesting inappropriate/undesirable behaviors.   But their attachments are often strong.  Unlike some IA children whose attachment skills are nonexistent.  
  • We've decided to wait until July or Aug to submit for our license.  We'll likely be at little-cabin-in-the-woods all summer again and wouldn't be able to receive a foster child anyways.  


  1. 1) the post below about Tess is unbelieveably beautfiul. pics, words, everything. she's amazing and so are you. sniff sniff.

    2) keep sharing the info. i love it. i am lapping it up. storing away for future reference.

  2. Where was I here? I didn't know you were applying to be a FP!? We've taken courses for it aswell, but will move forward (perhaps) after Baby Bing is home and settled, but we're still in the *thinking* about it phase. Interesting, and I'll be following along on your journey!


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