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Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christams and keeping it real

While taking my camera bag to the car on Christmas Eve, Patch lost my camera battery.  He set it on the bag rather than in it.  On.  In.  It's all the same when you're 12 years old.  We've searched high and low, and it's nowhere to be found.  I'm not sure how one actually goes about losing the aforementioned battery in the course of 20 yards.  But it is what it is.  And this being Christmas day, there are no batteries to be purchased!  Which wouldn't really be a big deal except that Papa got me a NEW 100mm macro lens, and I'm just itching to try it out!  So I'll embarrass myself with my poor writing skills and hope y'all don't notice the typos and bad grammar.

The best gifts this year went to Livy and Tess.
Livy,14, received an eReader.  To see my girl become the reader of the family, does my mama heart well.  My girl that once struggled for every word and was tested and retested and eventually diagnosed with dyslexia.  It was years of struggle and extra lessons and time.  Homework made us both cry.  But ultimately I guess all that extra time and effort paid off.  Around 7th grade all those reading strategies kicked in.  Now she reads with anticipation and joy.  So much so that the frequent trips to the library and bookstore were becoming quite bothersome.  She's was so excited to receive her gift and has had her nose buried in a "book" all day now.
The Five People You Meet in HeavenThe Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom is her first selection.  I think she's going to be an Albom fan!  {fingers crossed!}  Which leads her next to Tuesdays With Morrie and For One More Day.  Sigh...  Anyone read Albom's new book, Have a Little Faith?  Anything contents objectionable for a 14 year old?

Tess's favorite gift by far is her Paper Jamz Guitar.
Wow Wee Paper Jamz Guitar Series II - Style 3I have no idea how this wee child knows what she is doing with a guitar, since none of us play the guitar, and I'm pretty sure I've never taken her to a Def Leopard concert recently.  But that girl knows how to ROCK!  Prior to this gift, she'd grab just about anything, a spatula, a hanger, a tennis raquet, anything and start rocking out.  It's just about the cutest thing we've ever seen so of course we encourage her!  This toy is far too old for her, but she very quickly figured out how to operate the "demo" mode and has been strumming "Turning Japanese" all morning. 
Turning Japanese I kid you not.  Once I get my camera working, I'll try to figure out how to download video of one of her performances.  I'm so lame that I can't figure out how to load video.  


Well that's all I have right now.  Papa is cooking prime rib in the oven and it smells heavenly in here.  Together with Yorkshire pudding, we have our traditional Christmas dinner soon.


Do Amazon links count for photos?  It's all I got!


PS - Keeping it real... I wrote this part then deleted it.  Now it's back.  It feels an awful lot like complaining.  But I do want to keep it real.
This Christmas was stressful for me.  Really stressful.  And just when I thought not another thing couldn't make it worse, another thing was put upon my heart to deal with.  And God knows just what lessons to lay before my feet.  OK, God, just for a little bit, could I stop being a student and just reflect?  Just be?  No one is sick, and we have a roof over our heads and not being able to feel like I'm appreciating these little wonderful blessings makes me feel even more guilty.  The guilt for feeling this way, while at the same time the the rest of the world is celebrating, is heartbreaking.  Keeping a smile of my face and joy in my heart, or at least the pretense of joy for the kiddos, feels phony.  But it's all I got right now.  Blogging can be cathartic... helps show me in pictures and print, all there is to be thankful for right here and right now.  I don't like to write about the hard stuff in too much detail.  Yesterday, someone said to me, well you picked this life.  Yes, I did.  I still wouldn't have it any other way.  Guilt, joy, stress, blessings, and all.  

4 comments:

  1. Merry Christmas ! Sounds like it's a loud Christmas for you all this year. My ten year old son got a ton of that paper jam stuff - crazy weird isn't it? Paper guitars and drums and amps.

    So glad to hear your daughter is loving to read. My ten year old also has dyslexia. He is just starting to read on his own.
    Kathy

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  2. I can really relate to your guilt, stress and for me, ingratitude. It's a continual battle to be fought. I thank you for keeping it real and I'll be praying for you. I know your heart, a little bit, and He really knows.
    I say to my kids every night at bedtime, "I love you. God loves you the best" and so often it seems the perfect reminder for others as well. He loves you the BEST!

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  3. You have the guts to say the things openly that most people are feeling but can't admit to others, and many times not even their/themselves(grammer?). I admire that honesty. I have a few friends I can get that honesty from and share equally, and it is a treasure, they don't judge me, just affirm me with loving words. Yes, with free will, you picked this life, BUT, you have the eyes and the ears to listen and see the direction God has planned for you. That takes strength and trust like no other. The Lord never told you it would be easy, but He is there for you no matter what, imagine the treasure waiting for you in Heaven for being a good and faithful servant! You know He is not surprised how you feel, but He rejoices that you continue to turn your heart towards Him no matter what life brings you. Awesome job-

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