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Monday, May 10, 2010

3 thoughts on being a mama to many on Mother's Day

My Mother's Day was perfect.  Lots of little notes.  Flowers plucked out of the ground.  Something I wanted, many things I didn't know I'd treasure as much as I do.  A mimosa.  A phone call.  Sticky kisses.  Hugs, hugs, hugs.
I know our choice to have a large family may not be understood by many.  To be more specific, many judge us.  They think we're crazy at best.  They think we have poor judgement and are foolish at worst.  Both Papa and I have been questioned re our decision to have 6 children.  The questions are fine.  The judgement that often follows the answers aren't.   Many see foolish choices, lost money and time and potential.  "Don't you have enough children?"  "You know they have a cure for that now?!"  We are both questioned almost daily, asking if we are done yet.  Sometimes I find myself puzzled with this line of questioning.  My children are my greatest joy and pleasure.  They are God's treasures in my care.  They are my bliss.  And to be met with puzzlement about the very thing that brings us such joy, is odd to me.  Our children are our greatest blessings...  God's blessings to our family.  That's the whole reason I've adopted the "crazy" thing.  Because crazy is as good as it gets when we're judged.  People stare and stutter at the money we've spent, the sacrifices we've made, and the chaos we've purposefully created.  Our hearts and prayers determine our future.  We've lost friends that just didn't "get us." And those that stay, by purpose or choice, can be at a loss of what to say or how to deal with our choices.  

I don't think everyone should have a large family.  Not all our cut out for it.  Not all can handle the bustle and others calling them crazy at best.  But today, on this day that I'm called to reflect on this busy wonderful crazy life that we've created and my role as mama, I can not imagine my life without a single one of my children.  Each child that we have is a beautiful blessing from God.  Each child was waited for with giddy anticipation, and fear of change, and fear of judgement, and each child was prayed for and loved long before he or she came to our arms.  I would never never want another woman's life.  I wouldn't give up the wild flower bouquets and piles of sand for anything.  I have never regretted the bustle and business and loudness.  Never.  Nothing gives me such joy and smiles and laughter and gratitude as my children.  My life is so so so good with each and every one of them.  And each mama who has held her child's hand within her own, probably easily agrees with me.  

Motherhood isn't an easy path.  Without my children, I'd have far more time to pursue my hobbies.  We'd have more money and surely travel more.  My home would be organized and cleaner, and I'd be able to easily find a quiet corner all to myself to relax.  We'd throw dinner parties.  Surely I'd have a cuter smaller car that didn't have a sippy-cup of spoiled milk under the seat.  But I wouldn't give up even one child for these pleasures.  Whether you have 1 child or 4 or 6 or 10, being a mother is a path full of sacrifice and perseverance.  Being a mama to many also includes distance and judgement and even more self sacrifice.  Not everyone should have a large family.  God doesn't ask everyone to travel the same path.  But He did ask us to go there.  

So I'm not sure where I'm really going with all this.  Except to say that judgement is tough.  It hurts.  Especially when it's judgement about the very thing that brings us so much joy.  I'd like to pretend I'm all tough and so sure of every decision we've made.  I'm not.  But I do know for certain that I'm so so glad I'm a mama to my many and so sure this is the path He placed before us if only we were brave enough to go down it.  I know not all see it this way.  Some days I run down the path so quickly to see what awaits at each turn.  And some days the path scares the pants off me.  

But every single day, hard or easy, quiet or loud, crazy and sane, chaos and peace, complete with my many mistakes, leaves me with the sheer joy of being a mother to each and every one of my children.  The sacrifice makes it all the sweeter.  I wouldn't trade my path anything.  
To answer your question...
that I'm sure you're asking ...
'cause everyone does... 
We're not sure we're done yet.  
We'll have to see where He takes us.  


  1. i need an old barn. to take shots like the last of your big girls.
    gorgeous ladies they are.

    hear hear, to everything.

  2. That's funny Staci! That "old barn" is the garage door to my in-laws home. I need an old barn too!

  3. You know it's funny, because not too long ago families were made up of 8, 10, 12 children and nobody said anything because all the "stuff" that people desire, wasn't desired back then. They think you are missing out if you don't travel or have a big fancy house, or all the designer clothes, because you have a big family. I believe they are missing out by not treasuring each of the "stuff" that all the children provide for you, the laughter, the tears, the sheer joy and sometimes frustration, but through it all you grow like you couldn't have without them! I too get "those" comments (unfortunately usually from those I love), but there are the select few comments I have gotten from strangers in the store that look at me and say with delight, "Good for you!" They haven't passed judgement and can see the pleasure and sacrifice and joy of how Blessed we are to more then a few kids... I know God put those people there to remind me that I know my plan for now. Only you know what God puts in your heart, and we are here to please Him alone. God knows where each and everyone of His children are going long before we know His plan for us to have them. Isn't He awesome!

  4. Ok, I need an old barn or your parents garage door!! :)

    BTW, moms of many like you are my inspiration. 4 isn't many, but I know that when we start adoption again for number 5, I am sure the talk will start.

    You rock.


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