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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

A good ol' fashioned whoopin!

This is the puppy.
The hoodlum.  The fluff ball of never-ending energy.  The problem child.  The pesky twerp.
His name is Hawkeye.  He'll be 1 year old next week, and he's a little twerp.
Last year the girls were doing some philanthropy work with an animal rescue group, and Papa was in charge.  In hind sight that was a bad combination. A really bad combination.  They came home with the most adorable puppy bundle that I instantly knew was no good.  Mamas know these things.  They ganged up on me, and said I wouldn't have to do a thing.  Really, they bound and gagged me and threatened to take away my camera.  No feeding.  No training.  No poop-picking-up.  They'd do it all.  Yea right.  I had no option but to say yes!

Hawkeye grew to be the teenage twerp he is today.  If he could, Hawkeye would wear baggies jeans below his butt with boxers sticking out the top.  He'd wear a flat brimmed baseball cap and drive a truck that is raised with oversized tires.  He's that kind of twerp.   Like we need another tongue-dangling twerp in the house.  (I'll let you guess who the other one is!)

Most of the time Hawkeye looks like this.  All four of his feet are rarely on the ground at the same time.  Hawkeye's favorite snack is socks.  Mostly smelly boy socks.  Mmmmmmmm.

This is Spirit.
She was bred to be a show dog and is the most gorgeous dog ever.  She had a short career, and her trainer decided she didn't have the personality to show.  She passed through several homes till ending up in ours 6 years ago.  She's not really an old lady, but at almost 9 years old, she's in her golden years.  If she could, Spirit would wear polyester, elastic-waist capris, and sensible orthopedic shoes.  She's be the kind of gal that would wear a fanny pack on her daily walk, and play bridge every Tuesday afternoon with her lady friends while sipping a mimosa.  Spirit is they kind of gal that would appreciate Doris Day movies and a good deviled egg.  She's my kind of gal.
When it was obvious that the puppy was home to stay, Spirit looked as me and said,
"Are you kidding me lady!  I'm in my golden years!  G.O.L.D.en years!  What am I suppose to do with that little twerp!"
Most of the time Spirit just looks annoyed with the problem child.  The twerp likes to play a lot.  More than sensible-shoe-wearing ladies in their golden years.  It's annoying.

This is a picture of the Livy and Jujube being both insolent and adorable at the same time!  It doesn't have anything to do with the twerp and the old lady.  But it's my blog, and I can post it if I want to.

Sometimes Spirit knows it's easier to let Hawkeye think he's the boss.  He's not, but Spirit is a smart gal who knows how to pick her battles.
But eventually, after all the wrestling matches and ear pulling, she'll snap.  Old ladies can be crotchety like that.  They'll turn on you!

That's It!  I've had enough your hoodlum ways!  
You whipper snapper!  
You twerp!  
What you need is a good ol' fashioned whoopin'!"  
Say uncle!  
Say it!  
Say UNCLE!!!!
I'm pretty sure I just heard the twerp whisper uncle.

2 comments:

  1. I love this blog-Hilarious!!! I can so relate-why do we let these kid's and husband's talk us into this stuff???

    ReplyDelete
  2. That was too funny! Favorite snack is socks....hehehehe

    ReplyDelete

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